National (or International) Limp to Work Day

Admittedly there are people on this planet for whom going to work is an exciting prospect, they thrive in their chosen field, receive praise and promotions at the turning of every quarter. They wake up with a smile, or at least a self-satisfied grimace, knowing they are valued and appreciated. Sure there are people who have jobs where they are kept busy all day with important tasks, deadlines, goals, objectives. I'm not talking about them.

I'm talking about the rest of us; the ones who have to wait for phones to ring or customers to come in before we are required to stir from our hand-me-down swivel chairs with the splinters on the arm rests. The ones for whom "work" means exercising our ability to scan the internet for mildly diverting comics, pictures of kitties with big eyes, or porn that flies just under the radar. The ones who have embraced the work-place futility attached to that meager reward: the bi-weekly check. The ones who are bored, tired, irritable, ill-suited for our work, underappreciated, underchallenged, and scared to move on.

Limp to Work Day.

Tell everyone an exciting story. You got nicked by a bus. A dog bit you in the parking garage. You and the missus got in a fight and fell from the third story window. Whatever. I'm telling people that a careless man in the crosswalk swung his briefcase into my knee. Then, you just limp. Everywhere. Switch bad legs once or twice, too, just for fun, see if anyone notices. Let the limping begin.