Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Nasty IVR alarm clock

Say "1" to wakeup
  (+6)
(+6)
  [vote for,
against]

"Ring Ring"
"Ring Ring"
"Ring Ring"

DR: "uh ... hello"
phone: "Hello Denny boy; welcome to your alarm clock; it's 7am; time to wake up!"
DR: "...uurgh..."
phone: "Please say the following phrase clearly and quickly after the tone" phone: "I am awake and ready to face the day"
phone: "beep"
DR: "...oh **** bugger off"
phone: "You said "oh **** bugger off" - sorry you are not awake yet - this call will be returned in 5 minutes at a cost of £1.50"
phone: "click"

DR: "**** **** *****"

DenholmRicshaw, Feb 19 2004

[link]






       I would be bankupt so fast.
yabba do yabba dabba, Feb 19 2004
  

       I think I'd just change the message on my answering machine to "I am awake and ready to face the day."
lostdog, Feb 19 2004
  

       Like it.
Deserves a churn,
  

       "It sounds like you said:   

       'I am a fake, and red in the face, and gay'   

       Is this corect? If so, connecting you to your mind care specialist now...."
not_only_but_also, Jul 19 2005
  

       Better than a nasty IVF alarm clock.
wagster, Jul 19 2005
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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