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I don't know about you, but whenever I'm summoning dark and eldritch powers from beyond time and space, I like to be sure I'm incanting the appropriate unpronounceable syllables.
Who wants to accidentally summon Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young when you were actually
hoping for a tête-à-polyp with Nyarlathotep, the many faced messenger of the Old Ones?
Obviously accuracy is important, but carrying round an original skin-clad copy of the Necronomicon poses its own problems. Especially when using public transport or passing a dog's home.
This idea is to allow the creation of an 'evil' directory into which blasphemous incantations, ichorous invocations and shambling summonings can be stored and run as batch commands.
(Assuming you aren't reduced to a gibbering shadow of your former self by the sheer weight of mind-altering dread and non-Euclidian terror...)
This directory would be shown on one's desktop under My Documents, and be called My Abominations or similar. The icon would be a big tentacley monster engulfing a yellow folder.
The directory could be provided on 3.5" disk via mail-order or over the counter at small out of the way bookshops (peopled by wizened degenerates) and would contain the evil directory, and some basic templates for summoning lesser monstrosities and gibbering elder beings.
(Inspired by [DeserFox]'s Eldritch Baseball, with thanks to Bungston for 'Non-Euclidian')
Unosunosyunosceros
http://www.unosunos...micaotico/index.htm
The index. [reensure, Mar 19 2005]
Cthulhu Calling!
http://www.forbidde...thulhu/Product.html
Seemed appropriate. [DrBob, Nov 02 2007]
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Annotation:
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Brings new meaning to "Nice abs!". I am for anything that provides jobs to wizened degenerates. |
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You weren't planning on running this using Microsoft products, were you ? |
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[runs command, XP adds popup, demon becomes annoyed, screaming ensues] |
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I was thinking of an MS platform yes... |
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The formless terror you are accessing has caused an irreparable rift in time and space through which a seething mass of malicious darkness intends to invade this world consuming everything that we foolish humans have come to know and love.
(A)bort, (R)etry or (F)ail?
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Thought this was going to be a song about bad ‘bakery ideas to the tune of “My Generation”. |
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If you want the bad abominations, find the Book of Nuggan (read Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett, and find out what I'm ranting about). |
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Love the idea, I don't want to accidently summon the Priestess of Hope when I'm trying to conjure the Demon of Pestilence (funny how opposing beings have rather similar conjuring spells, isn't it?) |
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//The formless terror you are accessing has caused an irreparable rift in time and space through which a seething mass of malicious darkness intends to invade this world consuming everything that we foolish humans have come to know and love.
(A)bort, (R)etry or (F)ail?
//
..and thats just XP Pro, right?. I didn't get the opportunity to access My Documents\My Abominations. |
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// This idea is to allow the creation of an 'evil' directory into which blasphemous incantations, ichorous invocations and shambling summonings can be stored and run as batch commands. // |
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a.k.a. c:\Program Files\BargainBuddy |
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One would be well advised, however, to compile individual rituals and save them in .CAB format before archiving them in My Abominations folder. I would go as far as rendering them executable only from the command-line. Perhaps I'm overcautious, but if something as minor as a BSOD and reboot can foul my mood, I imagine that accidentally double-clicking "Shoggoth.exe" would completely ruin my day. |
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That second annotation so needs to be "backwards." |
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"Lo ocera e russetari phaey. Ho, isa we reh'w do'og sawh ciwd na staht n madec. N'etne selgnis ae pytotsek' attiem itfot nuo. Maeht n'ah terom 'FRO' fles'n woym neve, otno itnett ayap, otytili. Ba'fok ca lymnah terom ra; frofs t'nuoct aht d'nae lyts dahroh. Tua sihtt, ahtt ca fehts, awer usdeme estaht g'nih, tyln oeht g'nih tonw'e n kimoh w'foroh tu aysat. Na, fa sawh'c tirdleder, u gifiec nis deme esae dieloh, w'siht daehym re voyl. Bid! Erc'ni woh nialp xenac s'drow fotnu omaon!" |
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Whoa! Thanks for the heads up! I nearly summoned the deity Kl'ondorfisk, the 3 headed demon of uncomfortable sofas. |
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That was close! - He would have nicked all the Nachos! |
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Cause of death: punctuation.
Embarrassing way to go. |
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If I had a dollar for every time I've summoned K'arl, the
Disembodied Voice of Ill-Preparedness by mistake, I
wouldn't have missed the bus. |
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A friend of mine had a cat with 6 toes and when the cat
would walk across the kitchen floor you could hear her
from the next room going "clickety clickety" and my friend
would allways look at me and say, "Do not attempt
experiment, results in... abomination!" (from the
Frankenstein movie) |
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Difference between the Halfbakery and My Abominations? Everybody wants to be halfbaked. |
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JHC - perhaps it was actually 1.5 cats,
sort of siamese twins fused everywhere
except at the toes. |
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//Error invoking D:\mon - your hands have now been removed at the wrist. Press any one key to continue// |
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Bun for the "...when passing a dog's home..." btw =) |
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[Susan] All I can try is calling on the Great Juttaquatl, the high priestess of Yrekabflah, Lord of Lost Hours and Keeper of Mimes. |
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Dratsuc!
Ajnin!
Yawa Enobhsif!... |
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[Ahh, looks like I summoned the Autoboner instead] |
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I'm imagining [UnaBubba] sliding out from beneath a satanic font, ichor-stained face, chewing trans-dimensional gum and saying
"That's you're problem mate - You've spelled yrekabflah with two f's! No *wonder* all of mankind is being drawn inexorably towards this dark pit of unfathomable custard dread. - Oh, and that's not proper virgin's blood, you want to use the really good stuff." |
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Does this washing machine get out Thpaghetti Thoth stains? |
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Alistare and will crawl'y m'elf into the corner. |
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I summon the flesh of Ojnab Eebmaj! Cower before his prosthetic evil, my poor wretched children! Thine terror doth awaken... |
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If a certain sorcerer had this, he wouldn't have said: |
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Per vox of Abyssus change ut aduro inz a pedophilus. |
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He said that, then Michael Jackson was stricken by flame and turned into a pedophile. He meant to say "diabolus", but now we face his creature's terror. |
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I have this weird picture in my head of a wee woman sitting in a big red London bus: she's wearing a big black pointy hat and using some trendy white earphones to listen to her incantation library... |
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[Jinbish], you could sell a whole book series with that sort of imagery |
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There's an idea... "Charmed", eat your heart out!
(not literally, of course) |
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