Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mum-staffed A&E

 or "Mom-staffed ER" for the Americans
  (+7)
(+7) 		  [vote for,
against]

To a mum, no injury is life-threatening. 40% burns? Break out the Savlon. Sleeping-pill overdose? Half a pint of cod liver oil, then make 'em wash all the ambulances to keep 'em awake. Profuse bleeding from a dog attack? More Savlon, and the big plaster from the Elastoplast variety pack. Cranial trauma? Ice in a tea towel applied to the wound, and a quarter of chocolate mice.

[Suggested category - Health: Hospital]

—friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002

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       Would there also be stern lectures about the dangers of playing with matches/pills/dogs/cranial traumatisers?
—egbert, Dec 29 2002
   

       That's where Dad comes in.
—friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002
   

       Tighten your belt another notch, and put bicycle clips round your ankles, Sleepygrass.
—friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002
   

       I know where there are plenty of rat's asses awaiting transplant patients. Seems you can't give them away these days.
—egbert, Dec 29 2002
   

       Questions asked by A&E mums:   

       1) Are you allergic to any medication?
2) Did you think it was clever?
3) And if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you copy him then?
—friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002
   

       4. don't come running to me when you break your leg
—po, Dec 29 2002
   

       So, after what [IVni] said, is this baked? Because I don't care if it is, it still gets my croissant. And a chocolate biscuit.
—egbert, Dec 29 2002
   

       5) So, you had to learn the hard way.
—FarmerJohn, Dec 29 2002
   

       <spits on hanky and wipes patients face> "there all better, now"
—po, Dec 29 2002
   

       "I'll give you something to cry about" instead of "The doctor will see you now"
—Count Vermiculae, Apr 02 2005
   

       6) And you can pick up ALL those fingers before you come crying to me, young man.
—Basepair, Apr 02 2005
   

       "A quarter of chocolate mice"???????? What???
—37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 04 2005
   

       A 4 oz. bag of sweets, made of chocolate (the sweets, not the bag), shaped like little mice (again - the sweets, not the bag). The mainstay of my confectionary youth.   

       (Yes, confectionary with an A. Confectionery, being a noun, is unsuitable for use as a qualifying adjective. No idea if it's a real word though.)
—friendlyfire, Apr 12 2005
   

       The best we have are gummy rats.
—37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 29 2005
   


 

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