Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mr Spartan

 He's abound in pompous moralising
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Mr Spartan is a impact resistant rubber or thermoplastic doll the size of a ventriloquist dummy,dressed in a worn-in tux with a unshaven appearance.

He has a memory bank of 100's of pre-recorded laconic,stoical and curt pithy remarks,the type which from observation only the drunk in the corner who waves his finger in the air and converses with himself would have and understand.

Mr Spartan is placed behind me or near to me on a stool in the bar,ready to be activated via a remote control whenever I am approached by a drunk demanding a cigarette or in need of a ridiculous conversation.

Mr Spartan would summon this person away from me,so I may continue my drink....(MS) "ahem ..yes..you..over here" and begins a voice activated hardy banter ,if he is knocked over, his giro thingy mechanism would activate "help me back up will ya?" And banter will resume.This would give me the chance to escape or when I need to leave approach and swiftly explain "excuse me I have to take my good friend Mr Spartan to a hospital appointment" or alike.

—skinflaps, Dec 02 2002

Where Mr Spartan ends up once the drunk has broken him http://resources2.n...l-doll-hospital.jpg
Mr S ends up with this nice man [skinflaps, May 28 2013]

[link]






       I highly resemble that!
—thumbwax, Dec 02 2002
   

       This would work really well on the bus as well, hey! how about an airline variant, you know, like when the attendant jabs you in the ribs and asks you if you want dinner, although your snoring and have those eye mask things on....
—Micky Dread, Dec 03 2002
   

       We do. Go for it ....
—8th of 7, Dec 03 2002
   

       it's the thin end of a can of worms buddy.
—Admiral Hackbar, Dec 03 2002
   

       Cool... someone I can talk to who understands me!
—RayfordSteele, Dec 03 2002
   

       Finally, an invention to occupy blathering drunks. This one is worth its weight in beer nuts!
—Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 03 2002
   

       <last night> tried prototype with a tape recorder and Barbie doll from garbage skip....Missing,'one tattered Spartan Barbie <last night>
—skinflaps, Dec 03 2002
   

       WOW!!! I got pissed last night, and turned into the dummy.....
—Micky Dread, Dec 05 2002
   
      
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