h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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We have been told that OBL and his cronies all live in Afganistani caves. If that is the case, I propose that helicopers/Harrier jump jets, in fact any flying machine capable of hovering, fly over the cave and dangle hose pipes into the cave entrances. Liquid hair mousse is then pumped through the
hose, which on contact with air, will foam up into an awful lot of mousse. Night after night of sustained allied Moussing should eventually pump enough mousse through cave tunnels to flush out its occupants.
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Make sure it's Mega Hold mousse you're using, for the following reasons: |
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1. All terrorists "flushed out" of the cave would be held fast to tall, sticky stalagmites of mousse; |
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2. Any terrorists remaining in the cave would be stuck like bugs against the roof. |
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I think there should be a moratorium on hair-care products. And he's probably got lice already. Also hair mousse is (generally) flammable, so all they'd need to do is spot the foam coming in, and set fire to it. Flame zooms up the foam trail and right into the helicopter, and bang! Should probably stick to napalm (if we can find him). |
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I'm still partial to these "bunker busters," which are essentially cluster bombs that drill through the ground (so I've been told). |
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Off-topic, sort of: How well do those bunker-busters do against granite or basalt instead of concrete? I think concrete is really soft and structurally 'crappy' when compared to real rock, so I suspect a cave protected by 10 meters of andesite might defeat a bunker buster where a concrete bunker might not? |
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Andestite is probably the closest to concrete you'll find - it's a light rock, often quite porous, on account of being a volcanic extrusive with a high volatile (gas, water) content. Granite and basalt are more structurally sound, you're right, but they are also prone to fracturing in long continuous breaks. This might make major weaknesses, and since Afghanistan is in a pretty squished-up part of the world, your bunker-busters might do the trick. However, what's behind him on those press-release videos looks a lot more like a decimetre-bedded bioclastic/arenitic limestone. With calcite cementation. |
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Why Hair Mousse? Just replace the links to the sewers in public toilets with "war donation" tanks. Then, when you have accumulated some million litres of urine, fill up the holes with it and watch them coming out in a matter of minutes!
If, on the other hand, those gurus are right and urine drinking does prolong your life...
but anyway it will not prolong their life very much if they are standing in urine. |
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lewis, I think those backdrops are murals from Fads |
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Nyah, not hair mousse. REAL moose, the bullwinkle variety. They're big, nasty tempered animals with fleas and they smell really bad. Canada has a surplus of the things. We can air drop 'em by the brigades with parachutes and everything. Train them to run into tunnels and caves and shite on everything wearing a doo-rag. |
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