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Mice. So cute, so fluffy, so beady-eyed, yet so unwanted.
The Pest Control division of MaxCo. has been trying for years
to invent a humane mousetrap, but most of our efforts to
date
have been disappointing. The MouseBegone MkII failed in
what
can only be described as a dangerous way -
it turns out that
you have to get the butane/propane mix *just* right. The
Mousenator was almost a success, but it turned out that
reassembling the mouse prior to release was virtually
impossible.
Finally, though, we have it. The MaxCo Mouse Levitator.
Simply place the bait station in a corner of your kitchen, and
load it with a generous spoonful of our handily-packaged
peanut-butter-and-iron-filing bait. Then install the arrestor
plate on the skirting board at least 18 inches away from the
bait station. Please note that the powerful magnets in the
arrestor plate may harm credit cards or magnetic storage
media.
One the mouse has been caught, simply use the provided
plastic spatula to prize it off the arrestor plate, and release
it
at least 100 metres from your house. It is advisable not to
release it due south of your house, as residual induced
magnetism will lead to the mouse heading north until the
bait
has passed through its system.
levitating a frog
http://www.physics....diamag/diajap00.pdf
Using the diamagnetism in a frog (and an 11T (superconducting magnet produced) magnetic field) [xaviergisz, Jun 27 2019]
behave_20beehive_20hairdo
proposal to use magnetic properties of bees to create a hairstyle [xenzag, Jun 27 2019]
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If you had enough similarly magnetised mice, would it be possible to use them to make a kind of electrical generator, assuming they were induced to spend time running around in circles in proximity to some copper wire wound coils? |
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You seem to have missed an absolutely perfect application for a linear motor .. think "rail gun" but ending in a brief, damp squeak. |
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// MouseBegone MkII failed in what can only be described as a dangerous way // |
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Dangerous, yes, but also highly entertaining. And to be fair, the Mk. V works extremely well, and consistently. It's just a pity about all those petty "product safety" rules, and the treaty on Weapons of Mass Destruction ... |
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As to the Mousenator, if you had studied our Prior Art, to wit the Catalyzer, you would have realized that once an object has been converted to plasma, it's quite difficult to reassemble in its original form. |
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//load it with a generous spoonful of our handily-packaged
peanut-butter-and-iron-filing bait// |
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At which point (in conjunction with the already read title) no
further reading is necessary [+] a return to form, Carstairs has
finally restocked the cellar then? |
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If you assume that the mice are the guinea pigs, then it would make more sense to use hamsters as lab rats for the next phase. |
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I think this is good, and fits well with using some of
natural magnetic properties of certain species (see
link) I can see the magnetic hamsters running at
high speed to power the lights in a caravan. (for
example) Could magnetised blood containing
carborundum particles not be dragged backwards
and forwards to clean constricted arteries? [I'm
delivering a crumb +] |
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//Carstairs has finally restocked the cellar then?// Good
lords, no. Even the Emergency Backup cellar takes three men
with a forklift a good week to completely restock or
reorganise. However, the Estate's wine buyers recently
returned from Italy with a particularly fine collection of free
samples, which only took a day and a bit to lay down in the
Sampling cellar. |
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I'm with 8th on this, the standard capture-release
mechanic is a little mundane Extending the device to
employ a series of electro-magnets arranged in series
for rail-gun type operation, it might be possible to
accelerate the mouse such that it vaporises, reducing
chances of a reinfestation. |
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// release it at least 100 metres from your house // |
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Should read: "at least 500 m" - I tried it with 100m the other day, and the mouse was back in the trap after 10 minutes. It came back another time the same evening after having been brought 100m in the other direction. |
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Was it the same mouse, though? |
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We can confirm that the MaxCo Mouse-B-Gone™ service is an effective (if expensive) way of removing live mice to such a distance as to make their rapid return impractical. One of their ex-Soviet ICBMs whizzed past our Cube in lunar orbit only last week, and we could clearly read the branding painted on the side. |
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