Mortals' combat

War is a many-splendored thing, and it makes cool movies, but it sucks. Suckiness is inherent in its very nature, for the primary reason that people are somewhat prone to die throughout the duration of a fight.

Death and violence drive the fears of anti-war protesters and popes and natives of the war-torn countries. On one hand the war is (arguably) necessary; on the other, it's been said that our (US) war is like a childish response to the most primitive fears we have of "the other."

There's almost no reconciling either side. Why not create an intermediate step in the war-making process? A high-stakes video game battle: To the victor, goes the spoils.

Duck hunt? Mortal Kombat? Doom? Sonic the Hedgehog? Mario? Final Fantasy? Aladdin? Whatever game is chosen, it should all appeal to our warmongering instincts and allow a creative outlet for all of that excess energy. Instead of dragging Saddam's dead arse out of Iraq, why don't we just kick his arse on the X-Box?