Monocle Suspension

The principle problem with wearing a monocle is that when somebody tells you something surprising, you inevitably utter an exclamation like "Egad!", or "By Jove!" and simultaneously undergo a change of facial expression guaranteed to cause your precious monocle to slip from your eye socket and fall into your cocktail.

This is all very well if you are a wealthy, cravat-wearing English landowner who has just been informed that Fogg has indeed made it around the world in 80 days but not so great if you want to wear your monocle and retain an unruffled exterior, regardless of the revelations life may throw your way.

The solution is Monocle Suspension. Around the circumference of the monocle is a secondary, outer monocle rim mounted to the inner rim on small springs of precisely calibrated...springiness.

When the monocle is worn under normal conditions, the outer rim and the springs are compressed down and held against the inner rim by the grip of the eye socket. When a surprise occurs and the muscles surrounding the eye socket relax into "surprised configuration", the springs expand and the outer rim moves outwards to fill the suddenly larger gap, thus preventing the monocle from falling from the eye. When composure is regained, the springs compress down again and everything returns to normal.

An exercise variant with super stiff springs is also available. Since the springs are so tough to compress, the muscles around the eye must work extra hard to keep the monocle in its un-expanded form. Great for anyone working on their "Clint Squint".