h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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Picture the scene:
Its 4:30 am, you've not got a penny on you and you're 10 miles from home. The normal conclusion to this would be a hedge related recline with bright sunlight dementia at 8am. But no more! Introducing the 'Mongorail'. This transportation device consists of a huge network of rubber
conveyor belts linking towns and cities all around the country. A clever 'person buffer' will shift you onto higher speed rails for the longer cross country stretches. Imagine the fun at seeing great swathes of stoned/drunk people hurtling to and fro on enormous rubber mats!
For the more travel shy there will be a 'Stealth Mongorail'. This lil' beauty coats the would-be traveller in a clever coating of black powder and specially cut peices of cardboard. Once aboard he/she can travel in complete ambiguity and should there be an AWACS in the vicinity - hey, no worries, they won't see a thing. The premium paid on such a service actually delivers you to your door. The Mongorail simply ascends the stairs in your house and tips you gently into bed (removing the paint & cardboard as it does so). Refreshed you will awake in the knowledge that your mother/girlfriend/boyfriend/animalfriend did not detect your arrival.
I need about 700 Billion pounds Sterling to kick this project off. Any takers? Oh, anyone know anything about Rubber Mat properties on such a huge scale?
Rolling home
http://www.yesterda...ows/toys/ty1060.php
I think the ballbearing things are a sorely neglected sourse of inspiration! [Spidergoat, May 24 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
walking highways
http://www.halfbake.../walking_20highways
[egnor, May 24 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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Sounds very much like the 'Strips' in Asimov's 'The Caves of Steel' only in this you would step between strips of different speed yourself. (And it doesn't quite deliver you home to bed) |
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I'm guessing its called the "mongorail" because a high proportion of passengers would be "monged"? |
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I had a dream similar to this a couple of months ago; but instead of moving rubber strips all of the pavements were covered with small ball bearing machanisms. Similar to the ones in the Rebound (tm) from Mattel...(see link) |
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Anyone wishing to use it can skate along in their own footwear (assuming they are wearing reasonably sensible footwear). |
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Would the mongorail also transport mangy stray dogs of dubious pedigree? |
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No, beauxeault, that would be the.... |
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The device in the above idea would specialize in cobra-killing rodents. |
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centauri, I know what you mean, but to me, your device sounds like the transport mechanism that changes you from a human into a fat fowl with a mean disposition and a tasty liver. |
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Would there be a sobriety test to make sure you are indeed drunk? What precautions are there regarding Motion and/or Alcohol related Sickness? |
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I often travel in ambiguity (or do I?), but I don't usually have to fetish-up for it. |
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The fatal flaw in this idea should be obvious. Whilst the getting home part might be achievable. The problem of how to unlock the front door without waking up everyone in the street remains unaddressed. I would suggest that instead of an expensive transport system, we would all be a lot better off if keys and locks were made of galvanised rubber, thus enabling silent entry to the premises. Also, some sort of aiming device would be handy in order to eliminate the second cause of detection - swearing at the door. |
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