h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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It is often bemoaned that compared to the more Celtic nations scattered around and about, the English have no customs and traditions to call there own, apart, maybe from Morris dancing. Now if you're into Morris dancing then I'm not looking for a fight, especially not one that sees me hospitalised with
stick injuries, and jingling when sitting down for evermore.
In Wales we have welsh ladies, St.Davids day, the Eisteddfod, and the Legend of Gelert. The Scots have traditions coming out of their kilted nether regions, caber tossing, tartans, the clan structure and history, not to mention the Edinburgh fringe etc.
But England seems a little under-endowed in this respect. I don’t intend to discuss why, but I would like to suggest some customs that could be borne from modern lifestyles.
Dancing by the Rail-track
The dance is lead by station staff that bare the hallowed black-on-one-side, white-on-other signalling thingy, passengers follow them in lines making a mumbling noise, and when a train happens by, they all bunch up together and ask its destination in hurried tones.
Annual large sculpting day
A yearly weeklong active sculpting exhibition; participants arrive near the Angel of the North sometime on monday morning, and proceed to sculpt large scale for the week. People come and go, there is a festival atmosphere, with sausages in buns, and candyfloss and possibly some kind of funfair off to one side. Sculptures are maybe judged on how well they compliment the Angel, and are pulled down 2 weeks after the exhibition week. Possibly those made of wood are burned, this would make the angel look doubly impressive.
The millennium bridge sway
Each year to commemorate the opening of the bridge people stand along it and gently sway from side to side
Can’t think of any more right now, but hopefully, you catch my drift.
In case anyone's wondering.
http://www.ukattrac.../angel-of-north.htm
No relation. It's about 40 miles north of me, which is nowhere near far enough. It has the same wingspan as a 747-400, but is several times uglier. [angel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Closer to home
http://homepage.ntl...ave_scott/Train.htm
Off-topic, but another large, ugly, pointless (apart from the bats) monstrosity. [angel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Morris Dancing
http://www.npac.syr...ris/morrisinfo.html
I always thought it was "Moorish" dancing, but apparently not. [PeterSilly, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
No customs?
http://www.woodland...ent.sch.uk/customs/
what ARE you talking about? [egbert, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Saddam Night
http://www.halfbake...idea/Saddam_20Night
A new tradition for the Third Milennium [8th of 7, Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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suggestions for catergory welcomed.... |
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Sure we do. In fact, we have a whole huge US Customs Service. |
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we have gurning, worm charming, conkers, marbles championships, car boot sales, royal-baiting, street parties, pebble skimming, what ya talking about taffy? |
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Don't forget toast soldiers. |
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my soldiers were plain bread and butter and floppy - mmmm |
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So that's what the military are doing at Heathrow! Preparing for a world premiere of the dancing squaddies. |
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Cheese rolling, Carnivals, Flaming Barrel racing, Sports days, Bonfire Night, Funfairs, Church Parades, Jumble sales... |
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My mother has a scrapbook with Christmas cards from the 19th century showing him almost exactly as he is depicted today. Coca cola adapted the image in the 1940s, but despite the myth that has grown up around his commission, Haddon Sundblom wasn't the first to depict Santa in this way. |
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Making a cup of tea.
Grumbling.
Grumbling about the weather.
Apathy.
Shirking responsibility.
Despising, and making fun of, the Scottish, Irish and Welsh. |
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Pancake day, Mother's day, Hallowe'en, (both English traditions in the time of Columbus), the list goes on. See link. |
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You tell 'im po!
Far from being bereft of customs, the English have a plethora of them. The Welsh may celebrate St.David's Day but we celebrate not only St.David's Day, but also St.Patrick's Day, St.Andrew's Day and St.George's Day, all in the traditional English way of getting falling down drunk by about half past two in the afternoon and then going home for a blast on the white trombone.
You see, Zirc, my old Celtic mate. The advantage of having had a galaxy-spanning empire is that we don't need our own traditions. We just nicked everyone else's. That's the whole point of being top nation. (I don't think that the Americans have quite got the grasp of that yet). |
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translation: vomiting into the lavatory bowl. |
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Ahhhhhhhh ..... my favourite festival. (although I love all fire festivals). |
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"Let's all commemorate a failed plot by a discredited Anglo-Catholic who was probably set up and/or framed, tortured horribly and probably signed a false confession and was then brutally executed, followed by a brutal witch-hunt and reprisals against anyone who didn't agree with the current regime." |
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Thank heaven we live in more enlightened times. |
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[bliss]: I hope you aren't suggesting that bagpipes aren't worth owning up to? I have a cousin that plays them (rather well, too). |
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// detonate lots of bombs and rockets, and stuff, on Guy Fawkes Night? // |
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Yes, I do. It's one of the few nights I can get away with it. |
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Is that the one where you go round to someone else's house and try to find the fireworks they've hidden all round the place ? |
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No, its the one where you wear a ludicrous moustache and go round to bully your neighbour while telling anyone that will listen that you are loved by the people. |
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Try and find the fireworks you sold them. |
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[bliss]: Thanks, he only plays them because he has a fetish for cuddling octopi. |
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Alright, you've convinced me! I guess this was inspired by the fact that during discusssion of devolution, english pals were bemoaning the lack of tradition or culture that binds their country. I still think there's the kernel of an idea here, for all countries really; the creation of a folk culture from modern lifestyles, rather than, as 8th says from some poor sap who probably had little to do with the gunpowder plot. |
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[Unabubba] Did you have guy fawkes in terra Australis for a while when y'all were still a colony?, if so do you know when it died out? |
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Some suggestions incorporated. |
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[Zircon] - Dunno about Oz, but they used to celebrate Guy Fawkes night in the US. The Bostonians were very keen on it, apparantly. |
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It's a big do in Newfoundland, Canada too. And as a result, frequently pops up in other parts of Canada with a high concentration of Newfoundlanders (such as the oil fields in Alberta). |
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Modern custom for England: losing to Australia at international sport (cricket, tennis, rugby union and league and now soccer). |
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A bloody disgrace, it was! The England players should be stripped naked and flogged through every town and village in the country. |
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//England players //
of all sports?
//should be stripped naked and flogged // |
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// halfwits, full of piss and bravado // |
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It's a lie ! I've never been to Australia (although one of my firework team has. He's going to New Zealand next month to fly float planes for 3 weeks. Be warned). |
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