h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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A keyboard and printer equipped with blank bumper sticker stock that is portable enough to fit in your car would allow you to make snappy replies to those irritating slogans. I can see me now, pulling into a grocery parking lot next to a car that said, "My kid is an honor roll student." I quickly print
out, "But my kid's parent is a moron." I apply the new sticker next to the old and slide in for some groceries.
Xyron 500 Create a Sticker
http://www.dickblic...?param=0&ig_id=4994
Make a bumper sticker up to 5" wide out of anything [Bonarein, Aug 26 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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I once saw on one of those green activist web sites a bumper sticker for old gas-guzzlers which read: "I'm changing the climate!" |
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- My other car's a Porsche!
- And it's still a piece of shit like this one. |
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<old joke>
Save the Whales
Collect the whole set!
</old joke> |
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Here are a couple of rebuttal stickers, without the original messages: |
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1. I'll be mean to you if you'll be mean to me.
2. to be my middle name. |
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They already have several rebuttals to the "My child is an Honor Student etc ad dendum." My favorites are "Your child may be an Honor Student, but you're still an idiot," and "My child beat up your Honor Student." The Lovecraftians also have several parodies based on Cthulu and Miskatonic U. |
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"My other car is a 'Vette"..."Chevette." |
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More advanced models should allow you to mess with different fonts, backgrounds, colors, and pics. |
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Okay, since no one has guessed the bumper stickers to which I've offered rebuttals above, here are some very small clues:
a) Each rebuttal is for its own separate bumper sticker, not both rebuttals for one.
b) They are both very popular bumper stickers in the U.S. and perhaps elsewhere (they are not U.S.-specific)
c) I think no. 1 is easier to solve than no. 2. |
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Saw one that said 'No, YOU suck. Signed, the Mean People'. |
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Used to be able to get stickers that were pictures of spiral attachment devices, to put over the heart in 'I <heart> <whatever>', especially dogs. 'I screw my dog'. |
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Beauxeault: Methinks your #1 is a rebuttal to "Mean People Suck" I'm still thinking about your number 2.
I have seen stickers that fit over the classic "In and out burger" so that it reads "In and out urge" |
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Prizes awarded to bristolz and UnaBubba, though I don't know whether to award UB half a prize or a double prize, since his answer is not precisely the bumper sticker I had in mind, but it reveals that he not only knew the answer but added his own wit. |
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StarCHaser answered the "mean people" one as well, perhaps inadvertently |
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Or you might 'decorate' a car that is taking up 2 or more spaces. Oh the fun that could be had. |
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2 stickers I've seen and like: |
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'Mean people suck, nice ones swallow' |
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'My kid got you Honor Student pregnant' |
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Why are people so jealous of the honor student thing? Do they think they unspoken part of it is "And your kid is eventually going to be in Ann Landers as a stupid criminal?" |
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[bristolz] Are you sure they were stickers over stickers? |
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In the 80's, In-N-Out stickers were designed such that the copy read:
IN-N-OUT
BURGER
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All one had to do was cut out the "B" and the "R" of the word BURGER and the desired phrase was manifested. Obviously, they've since changed the design. |
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"Lost"
(for people who have stickers like "Bush-Quayle '92" still stuck on their car) |
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I had a sticker which read "Kill your TV" on a car for some time. The most requests I had for where I got the sticker was from TV Cameramen. (I'm on studio lots daily). I got another one and cut it so it read "I'll OK turvy" - and affixed it alongside the original. All it did was serve to increase the number of inquiries. |
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Bristolz: Wasn't inadvertently, but I couldn't figure out the other, so I didn't call attention to it. I just liked the sticker I mentioned... |
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I've seen a "My child fucked your honor student." Interesting, yes. |
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Sorry to interrupt the flow of bumper sticker rebuttals, but I DO know of a machine that can achieve almost this exact thing, I have one at work. It's called "Brother" or some shit like that. It's a little shorter than the keyboard you're typing on (unless you broke it in half or something) and about twice as thick. It prints out little white stickers about 1 1/2 inches in height that say whatever you want them to say. I've been doing this type of stuff for a while, in fact. |
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Brother is the name of the company --- they make typewriters, printers, labelmakers, etc. There's a labelmaker like that where I work. I used to own a Brother typewriter. |
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Friend of mine (he sometimes posts on here as Needles) created a set of bumper stickers for our local high schools with "My child is a FUCKING GENIUS
at [high school]" on them. They were hilarious, we just never got them printed on sticker paper. |
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Also, I too have played with a Brother P-Touch labelmaker. A guy gave me a sticker he made with one that said "Kill your television." I carry it in my wallet. |
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The best all-purpose rebuttal I've seen was a round mini-bumpersticker that just fit over the red heart on stickers like "I [heart] NY" or "I [heart] my [image of poodle]." It was a picture of a large screw. Given the follies of the last few elections, I could easily imagine it being placed just before the name of a politician you don't like...but I guess that'd be too ambiguous these days... |
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Take a look at my first annotation. |
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[StarChaser]: Wups, missed it; my bad. How about one of these as an add-on sticker for smug polemics such as "Rush is right": "The voices told me so..." "...and it's snowing in hell" or (for the snide) "...you wish." Or this one for "[your panacea here] is the answer": "What was the question?" Observations: (1. As educational devices, cars are terrible. (2. For the poor kid riding in a car plastered with I-brag-about-my-honor-student bumperstickers, it pains to advertise. (3. My other self is illiterate. |
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I've seen a "shit happens" sticker here in Australia, on a rear window. How about a LED array (like those moving message displays) so you could change it to suit the circumstance? You'd have to be able to pass the car in front to show it, though. |
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How about a gun you could use to shoot bumper stickers onto other people's bumpers while you're driving? |
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Hate to be the old fogie on a fun annotation thread, but there is a fundamental problem with this idea. It basically espouses vandalism. |
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What gives you the right to attach stickers to someone else's vehicle just because you disagree with their bumper sticker, or thought of a clever quip to add to the end of it? By all means, respond to their sticker on YOUR OWN car, but attaching additional stickers to their car is wrong, and probably illegal. |
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My favorite rebuttal: Rearrange a "Haulin' Ass and Suckin' Gas" sticker to read, well, you get the idea... |
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BAKED!! Check out the StreetTag. A user-programmable LED License Plate Frame.
http://www.StreetTags.com
WIN $1000.00!!!
if your custom message is voted #1.
Uncensored--What do you want to say?
Check us out!!! |
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"Streettags suck!" where do I collect my $1000 and how do we get get [StreetTags] M-F-Ded |
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I'd love a set of joke bumper stickers to stick on the b*st*rd in my parking spot. |
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come to mind. Ideally, they'd start out as difficult to see clear strips and then turn opaque in the sunlight. |
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I can't believe I went to the spammer's website. |
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I also can't believe that they're marketing a device that can only display about 5 characters max. I suppose it could scroll, but it'd be incredibly hard for the eye to follow something so narrow. Especially while driving. |
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If you can read this you're driving too close |
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-well you shouldn't have made your bumper sticker so damn small! |
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Fantastic! I looked into the "StreetTags" idea something like 15 years ago, when the first in-store display scrolling LED signs came out under the trade name "Silent Radio." I was going to call my vehicle-mounted signboard the "BumperBlaster." |
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Turned out that the DMV prohibited showing non-functional rear lighting, similar to prohibitions in most zoning areas against moving signs visible from highways (dangerous distraction). Also programmable LED signs were prohibitively expensive at that time. |
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By the way, next time you're in heavy traffic on the highway at night, look at the color of the hundreds of tailights lit up ahead of you. Its a remarkable feat of standardization that they are all nearly the exact same color-- they were made years and continents apart in factories with different methods and materials. I don't know how they enforce such a remarkably rigid output quality code. |
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"My kid sells your honor student his term papers."
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[StarChaser] Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. |
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