Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mist bidet

Add it on, be clean, no splashing.
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Bidets have never caught on in the US, probably for a variety of reasons. Adding a whole extra plumbed appliance that you are unsure how to use is offputting. There is the splashing, and the possibility that the splashing might be cold. Can you stay on the bidet while you read the paper? And toilet paper - before or after, and does it go into the bidet? Because that drain hole is pretty small. Or do you have to move back to the toilet, dripping en route? Too complicated for simple frontiersmen and lumberjacks!

The Mist bidet is an aftermarket device which sits on the floor behind the toilet and hooks into the hot water line. On starting, warm mist comes up and is released from a strategically angled plastic tube that snakes under the toilet seat, akin to some of those drip toilet deodorizer devices. Warm mist is nice on a cold morning and if some escapes upwards, no harm. It does all the hygienic things bidets might do. Wipe afterwards, just like always. And if you want to add a little something to the mist, its easy: just plug in a cartridge for warm mist scented with your favorite aroma!

BUNGCO will be rolling out the Mist Bidet in time for Christmas, in hopes of accomodating those who have a hard time choosing presents.

bungston, Apr 25 2011

Kinda like this? http://www.totousa....et/WashletC110.aspx
Toto Washlet — A bidet built into a toilet seat [ytk, Apr 25 2011]

Here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foggy_Bottom
[lurch, Apr 30 2011]

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       When I was young and not french, I thought a bidet was a place to piscine.
4whom, Apr 25 2011
  

       I could swear that this idea had been posted recently. All kinds of particulate discussion ensued.
Gone now though.
  

       It would have to be a mist bidet (look up the meaning of the German word 'mist'...).
Coming soon from BUNGCO, the other end of the comfortable cleaning spectrum - the Enema Bidet.
neutrinos_shadow, Apr 26 2011
  

       That's right [bigsleep]. I remember my anno to that one now involving dry ice/lack of asssplash and it's not here anymore.   

       Too bad, it was a good discussion.
Sorry [bungston] but I dunno about this one. <adjusts coonskin cap>
  

       Very similar to the linked Washlet. Except the BUNGCO version uses mist, sweet and possibly scented mist so if deployed without fleshly interception there is no mess. Plus one can fire up the mister and emerge from the bathroom in a cloud of mysterious backlit mist. If that is the effect you desire.
bungston, Apr 27 2011
  

       //emerge from the bathroom in a cloud of mysterious backlit mist.// Previous misgivings on previous ideas notwithstanding, SOLD! Although you may want to leave //steam-cleaning your undercarriage// out of any marketing literature...
4whom, Apr 27 2011
  

       A much-needed innovation!   

       *steps out of a cloud of mysterious backlit mist and presents [bungston]'s idea with a sweetly-scented, if somewhat limp, pastry*
DeniqueCoelum, Apr 28 2011
  

       I may be a lumberjack, but I'm not misting mine with anything down in a toilet. Sharing a seat is as far as I go. Even splashback grosses me out.
Mustardface, May 01 2011
  

       //Sharing a seat// back to back, or side by side?
pocmloc, May 01 2011
  


 

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