h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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I think you'll find that arms manufacturers and wall construction companies will be up in the kilospaniels. |
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The Spaniel will be like the Farad - far too large for practical use. A Spaniel is such a huge unit of irrepressible excitement and enthusiasm that it doesn't translate to a human context. |
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Even a toddler with ADHD who has been transfused intravenously with Sunny Delight on Christmas morning is only going to register at about 45 microSpaniels. |
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The breed and age of the reference standard Spaniel will need to be carefully specified, as an eight-month-old Springer Spaniel puppy who's just seen a duck jump into a pond will overload even the most robust instrumentation. |
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The Henry is a splendid measure. |
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Personally, I prefer the SI unit of Zen enlightenment, the Ohmm. |
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Don't say we didn't tell you. |
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We told you not to tell us that. |
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I must resist on the basis of the prefix. We are in
enough trouble with the only other SI unit with a prefix,
the kilogram. |
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"that's 1.0 x 10exp3 grams" |
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"easy, that's one millikilogram, 0.001 of the SI unit of
mass" |
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"so the SI unit of mass is a thousand times one
thousandth of itself?" |
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"how did that mess happen?" |
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Sp. "french", Pr. "Evil smelly foreign gits" |
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Alternatively, you could use the Megaretreiver, or the
inverse decidoberman as a standard unit. |
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A Yocto Shih Tzu might help with that bit of sausage... |
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(c.f. "millihelen" - see link) |
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// Shih Tzu might help // |
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You've never really made the acquaintance of a pedigree Tzu, have you ? We can tell. |
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The idea of a Tzu ever doing anything "helpful" is hilarious. |
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Take a very large dog, and identify all the positive features that dogs are reknowned for - loyalty, stamina, obedience, bravery, and patience. |
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Then throw all those away, because they're not needed. Double up on the quantities of greed, egotism, idleness and self-interest. Cram in intelligence, malice, and total contempt for any other living thing until there's no space left. Squash down the resulting Size 13 personality into a Size 2 body, assembled from components from Mugwai, Ewoks, and other super-cute creatures, including thick, soft, Chinchilla-like fur. |
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Instill an overweening sense of arrogance and self-importance (minimal explanation required) and let it loose upon the world to cause chaos and bewilderment. |
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Almost, but not quite. They don't shed fur. They don't scratch furniture. They don't crap in other people's flower beds. They don't howl at 0330 on a Sunday morning. They don't slaughter songbirds. They don't strew fleas everywhere they go. They don't vomit copiously behind the sofa. They are hypoallergenic. They don't leave half-mice in the middle of the kitchen floor ... |
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No, this is about thousandths of the hopefulness of a spaniel. |
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Perhaps you want next door. I think they might have a "younger - people - born - a - couple - of - decades - before - the - Y2K - bug R us" franchise there. |
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Ah, you can't get me that way; I don't believe in generations. |
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Also, I don't think you mean "transpires". Not really. |
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Surely a transpire is just an undead person with gender issues? |
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