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Military Grade Stapler

 Lock, Load Thoompf!
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A stapler, using normal staples that are driven into the paper you are stapling using the power of a very small cartridge to drive the hammer each time. Belt-fed cartridges allow stapling in bursts of three, single shot or full automatic if you're in a sanguine mood.

Then, after you have spent many late hours stapling a large brief of evidence for tomorrow morning's anti-trust trial, your office floor is littered with neatly stacked piles of paper, strewn with spent brass and smells of burnt cordite and rendered metal.

Yippy-Ki-Ay.

—UnaBubba, May 30 2012

AK47_20Stapler yippy -Ak-47 [xenzag, May 30 2012]

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       Thanks for the link, [xenzag]. I was unaware you had posted yours, as I can't see your ideas.   

       I don't think it's sufficiently different from yours to warrant it remaining.   

       This idea will self-destruct in 24 hours.
—UnaBubba, May 30 2012
   

       The ideas are different to my eyes. [xenzag] came up with a curved, gun-like magazine to hold the staples while this one is belt-fed with the crux of the idea being presumably the motive power delivering the staples. Your call though [UB].
—AusCan531, May 30 2012
   

       Trying not to start a stapler arms race.
—UnaBubba, May 31 2012
   

       Better not or I'll give you a paperclip around the ear.
—AusCan531, May 31 2012
   

       // start a stapler arms race //   

       That would presumably imply long-arm staplers …
—8th of 7, May 31 2012
   

       That would be Police staplers, [8th].
—UnaBubba, May 31 2012
   

       More like ze Gestapler...   

       [2 Fries] wins.
—AusCan531, May 31 2012
   

       needs tracer staples to allow stapling in the dark
—hippo, May 31 2012
   

       Not too many, though. You don't want the enemy to pinpoint your position too easily.
—UnaBubba, May 31 2012
   

       IT'S GONNA BLOW
—Voice, May 31 2012
   

       //Military Grade Stapler   

       It's be £100 more than the civilian version, would come out two years late, 80% over-budget and be completely incompatible with allied forces own military staplers, leading to a massive loss of data due to an open window and strong gust of wind.
—not_morrison_rm, Jun 01 2012
   

       Need to set up an Anti-ballistic-staple interceptor in Poland.
—sqeaketh the wheel, Jun 01 2012
   

       //Military Grade Stapler//
sp. Nailgun? I'm not sure if there are stapler versions...
—neutrinos_shadow, Jun 01 2012
   

       No, not a nailgun. There are any number of staple guns used in the furniture and upholstery business, that use compressed air.   

       This one uses a belt of miniature ammunition, to provide the force to depress the hammer.
—UnaBubba, Jun 01 2012
   

       //to depress the hammer   

       Do hammers get depressed?   

       Analyst) Und zo, when did you start hitting tacks?   

       Hammer) Doc, I'm a hammer, it's what we do..   

       Analyst) Hmm, a tack ting attention behaviour... <doctor scrawls in notebook with bad Austrian accent>
—not_morrison_rm, Jun 01 2012
   


 

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