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Melodious Message Machine

 At last! 3M technology is here!
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Aren't answering machine messages dull?

"We have finished the repairs on your car."

"They've decided not to press charges against your uncle Leroy."

"Why won't you answer my messages, you've never even seen your child."

Yawn. So lifeless and dull.

But no more! Using sound recording and altering technology the Melodious Message Machine (3M) system modulates the pitch and tone of the recorded words to sing along to popular hits from the musicals! Take this example from the smash hit musical 'The Phantom of the Opera.'

"Helloooooooo Stacyitisyourmother heeereee! Been a long tiiiime!"

Much better, no? Admittedly, it could make it somewhat more difficult to make out the messages so a non altered version would be stored in case you had difficulty interpreting. Sure, go ahead, ruin all the fun.

—harderthanjesus, Jun 17 2005

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       thanks for calling us, up on the phone
we're very sorry no one is, right now at home
but if you'll leave a message right, after the tone
we'll try to get back to you,
as soon as we're able to
(music swells)
I can't see me callin' nobody but you,
when I get home
Leave your name and number so I can call you,
when I get home
—ato_de, Jun 18 2005
   

       Bizarrely, my friends have been complaining recently that my answerphone message consists of either (a) ten minutes of The West Wing, (b) some people shouting and throwing stuff, or (c)random muttering and crashing noises. I think my computer has done something weird to the answerphone - though exactly how, I don't know.
—moomintroll, Jun 18 2005
   

       I think some creepy Electronic Voice Phenomena recordings (a la "White Noise") would be cool.
—Adze, Jun 19 2005
   


 

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