h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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To start, a couple of maxims I have discovered whilst rotting at a major Corporate:
- Some days you don't want to see people.
- Some people you don't want to see, no matter which day it is.
To mitigate against this, I propose small meeting boxes, like the "divided" confession boxes
found in churches. These could be dotted around the workplace so that you're never too far away from one.
If you find that you are irrevocably committed to meeting with Jones (that insufferable ass from Accounts) simply arrange to rendevous at the nearest meeting box. You enter on one side, he enters on the other, and you hold your meeting without once having to look at him or keep up the exhausting charade that is pretending you find him the least bit agreeable.
Spared this trial, you return to your desk a happier person, and are more inclined to receive other people cheerfully, or at least hum happily to yourself for the rest of the day, in the style of Winnie the Pooh.
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Annotation:
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I'm only going to bun this if I can press a button and give Jones the Iron Maiden treatment. I HATE that thin-lipped, noodle-armed geek. |
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But what if you get in the wrong box [contracts]? Then ol' noodle arms has his spindly finger on the button... |
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Yes, with his pale countenance drawn up into a ghastly smile, the crust flaking from the corners of his mouth . . . he would slowly lift his green visor. For one short moment, I could just barely see the gleam in his sunken, staring eyes through the confessional screen, and then BAM! |
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I'd be out of my misery. THANKS JONES, YOU BASTARD! [+] |
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I could use more than one of these on a daily basis + |
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Perhaps [theircompetitor]. I was thinking more of the kind of situation where you've previously agreed to a meeting, or where phone could not be used (eg. you need to give them something). |
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Move to a deserted island. |
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One great thing about covid is that all of my coworkers
are wearing masks. |
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I am Jones*, and I think this is a great idea. [+] |
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