h a l f b a k e r yGood ideas at the time.
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It seems a shame that dolphins that they don’t have arms, so drawing on the resources of NMRM corp, they will get some.
The arms go over a harness on the dolphin, and are guided by some reader-ier thing that takes brain activity and moves the arms accordingly.
The arms have hands and fingers for
fine work, like knitting intricate mating displays out of kelp.
This level of dexterity would mean that they could, with a bathtub, to take part in poker games in Las Vegas. Their facial features are hard to interpret, and some way to stop the dolphins using sonar pings to sneakily work out what cards you hold might be a good idea.
Dolphin Car
[xaviergisz, Aug 03 2019]
Preheated already - David Brin - "Startide Rising" 1983
https://twitter.com.../746484422040379393
[neutrinos_shadow], your memory is close but a little off ... [normzone, Aug 05 2019]
Mechanical arms for dolphins
https://larryniven....om.com/wiki/Dolphin
...and Brin was pre-dated by Niven. [DrBob, Aug 05 2019]
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Hey, this is actually pretty interesting. |
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What happens if you put this on say, a dog with a simple
mechanism of sensing the electrical impulses sent to the
animal's legs but with additional abilities like grasping
added. |
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If the dog gets these things as a puppy it might learn to
use these new appendages. Before it walks, it might
master grabbing things and bringing them to its mouth.
Later it learns to walk, run etc. |
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This might provide valuable research into prosthetic limbs
for humans. |
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But why leave out the larger marine mammals like
orcas and sperm whales? Just imagine what
intelligent, voracious carnivores with opposable
digits might accomplish. |
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Hey, I say screw the dolphins. Fifty million years ago, their
ancestors basically decided to take time off from evolving
and just piss about in the ocean. They couldn't be arsed to
do anything with their arms, and instead decided it would
be oh so clever to evolve them into flippers that can be
used for, what, nothing at all. |
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Now we turn up, having grafted away on land facing lions
and tigers and bears. As a result of our unceasing dexteral
efforts, we've not only got opposable thumbs but mobile
phones and screw-top bottles. And you're suggesting we
just give the dolphins a helping hand so they can enjoy all
the stuff we've invented? |
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They just make no effort. Think of all the attempts we've
made to communicate with them - it's always us who have
to make the first move, put on SCUBA gear, build special
microphones and stuff. Their initiatives: zero. They barely
even acknowledge our efforts. |
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Think about the problem of mercury in fish. Who's it a
problem for? The dolphins. Who develops all the fancy test
kits to monitor mercury in fish? We do, that's who. Dolphin
contribution: zero. |
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Think of all the stuff we dump in the ocean - most of it has
printing on it. If we'd found artefacts with alien writing on
them, we'd have a billion-pound team of linguists on it. But
the dolphins - nah, can't be arsed. Rather be eating fish
and making fart sounds mate. I think if we ever do manage
to communicate with dolphins, we'll wonder why we
bothered. |
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They'd probably say 'So long, and thanks for all the
fish" in sign language. |
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//So, frankly, fuck 'em.// |
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Finally, somebody who shares my disgust for these foul,
arrogant, lazy creatures. |
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And who came up with the term "dolphin safe tuna"? Why isn't
tuna safe dolphin meat a thing? |
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I read a sci-fi novel that had this idea, but for cuttlefish
(IIRC). The cuttlefish were put into spaceships and sent off
to explore the solar system, with their interface-&-remote
arms and so forth. |
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That would work very well, as being immersed in liquid they could experience massive accelerations (that would kill a human) without harm. |
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There's probably an easy Ph.D. for anyone prepared to stick a tank full of cephalopods in NASAs G-simulator for a couple of weeks, then write up the results ... plus a delicious calamari banquet at the end. |
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Thinking about it, they could learn how to play
guitars, could be a winner. |
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Yes and, you know what? They'd all be on acoustic guitars
playing bloody folk music. Folk music is painful enough as it is
- we don't need dolphins joining in. |
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//What happens if you put this on say, a dog // Now, that's a
more interesting possibility. However, I'm not convinced that
all dogs would figure it out. Of our dogs, two (one extant,
one not) decided that they had hands, and would use their
front paws to hold things. The other one is clearly of the
mindset "these are legs; they are for walking with; using them
for anything else would be ridiculous". |
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I was thinking more mariachi music, as some
could strum and others could use their
blowholes to play the brass band stuff. |
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God no, haven't we all suffered enough yet? |
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// I read a sci-fi novel that had this idea, but for cuttlefish (IIRC).
The cuttlefish were put into spaceships and sent off to explore the
solar system, with their interface-&-remote arms and so forth. // |
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That wouldn't be Accelerando, would it? There were some lobsters
who were involved in the first successful mind-uploading
experiment, and then merged their minds with some computer
program (whose purpose I don't recall), and asked Manfred Macx to
transmit them (as a radio signal) out of the Solar System so that they
would be safe
from the coming general AI revolution. Then some aliens took on
the lobsters' bodies (in a simulation) to meet with humans. I don't
remember the lobsters ever being given augmentations to their physical
bodies. I think I do remember, though, that he sent them out physically
in some form as well as as a radio signal. |
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[notex], you should avoid eating so much cheese before
sleeping. |
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//mariachi music// Single oddest mariachi-related
experience: eating tiramisu in a Swiss-themed restaurant in
an American-style hotel in Malaysia, listening to live mariachi
music. I shit you not. |
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^ Now THAT'S a multicultural experience! |
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// you should avoid eating so much cheese before sleeping
// |
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You know, what I wrote actually does sound like an account
of a dream. |
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On the other hand, I thought you were a dolphin, or at least
were one in 2010. What turned you against your own kind? |
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