Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Measurement of Likely Annoyance to an Individual

Standard measure to determine a Jerk
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People vary in their abilities to get along with normal people in normal situations. A quantity called (for men) the “Jerk” – not to be confused with the physics term for motion – would provide a way to determine the likelihood that a normal person would not get along with this individual. This provides a standard by which social adjustment is determinable based on past impressions. The female quantity would be called the ‘Bitch’.

The scale would be calibrated to the greatest well-known jerk of our time until superseded by a bigger Jerk or when the existing champion becomes obscured from public view or as public tolerances to Jerks change.

Metric averages would provide measurement for the ambient behavior of people in geographic regions, professions, or any other attribute(s) not subject to genetic predisposition.

Variants to the original term could be added as needed, e.g. “Dumb Jerk”, as those units of measurement mature.

misspelledbob, Nov 21 2007

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       The trouble with this idea, Bob, is that people differ in whom they perceive as a jerk, Bob.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 21 2007
  

       Too many people annoy me to have this of any use, namely immature little kids.
krigre55, Dec 10 2007
  

       i thought it was going to be a phone add-on for marketing calls... pre-screen the caller for sex, apparent age, comprehensibility, and factor in what time of day/day of week (for women, time of month) it is.   

       Telemarketers from what used to be the phone company have just called me for the 5th time in 3 days to tell me I've been selected to receive over $500 worth of stuff including free internet, blah blah blah.... I just say "great, do it" and hang up... wonder why they haven't shown up yet with my $500 :(
FlyingToaster, Dec 11 2007
  
      
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