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Martyr Mortars

The real human cannonball
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Do you find traditional suicide bombing to be an unexciting and unimaginative way of ending your life to further your cause? Suicide bomb with style, choose Martyr Mortar technology. Our cannons are real circus cannons, modified for maximum human distance. Put on your explosive vest, load in, and you'll soon be flying over cities instead of taking the bus.
Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004

For [Doc] http://www.physicsc.../vectors/u3l2a.html
Physics classroom. You'll need to read 5 pages to get to the equations I used. [Worldgineer, Oct 27 2004]

Circus Cannon Joust http://www.halfbake...20Cannon_20Jousting
[Mr Burns, Oct 27 2004]


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Annotation:







       I think the Simpsons did this in one episode (without the explosive vest).
ldischler, Oct 26 2004
  

       Possible I absorbed it from an episode, though I don't remember that one. Either way, it's really more effective with the vest.
Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004
  

       Ringling Propelled Grenade?
Shz, Oct 26 2004
  

       It might be more impressive to have them skydive into their targets--a Mullah's version of the Devine Wind.
ldischler, Oct 26 2004
  

       Not bad, you wouldn't even have to provide parachutes. With wing suits you could be mildly precise.
Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004
  

       In the name of Allah, Banzai! What a theological mess.
harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004
  

       Maximum survivable human distance or just the maximum distance a human can be propelled?
bristolz, Oct 26 2004
  

       I don't think surviving this is the point, [bris], hence the explosive vest and the key words "suicide bombing."
Machiavelli, Oct 26 2004
  

       What if I change my mind part way through?
lintkeeper2, Oct 26 2004
  

       [bz] "maximum survivable" would be misleading. Maximum survivable while remaining aware enough to push your vest's explode button, but not survivable long after that.   

       [lint] Don't push your vest's explode button, and hope for a conveniently placed pile of hay.
Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004
  

       (running some basic calculations as a follow up to [bris]'s question)
A bit of internet research tells me that terminal velocity for a person in cannonball formation is about 200mph (can be between 160 and 320 in standing-up-straight formation). Assuming a 45 degree declination angle and no air friction (a large simplification, but then so is using terminal velocity as the maximum muzzle velocity), we get:
vx = 200 * .707 = 141.4 mph
viy = 200 * .707 = 141.4 mph
time in air = 2 * viy / g = 2 * 141.4 mph / 32.2 ft/s/s
tia = 2 * 207.4 ft/s / 32.2 ft/s/s = 12.88 seconds
x = vx * tia = 12.88 s * 207.4 ft/s
x = 2671.3 feet = .506 miles
  

       So, you can have the cannon as far as around 1/2 mile away from your target.
Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004
  

       you have any high tech 70 virgins solutions?
theircompetitor, Oct 26 2004
  

       Perhaps seventy slightly smaller-barrelled cannons?
shapu, Oct 26 2004
  

       [World] just wondered if you could quickly explain some of your maths - I'm not a mathematician but I love understanding these things.
I got the velocity and gravity bits, but was wondering why time in air jumped from 2*141.4/g to 2*207.4/g?
DocBrown, Oct 27 2004
  

       Units, my friend.
141.4 miles/hour = 207.4 feet/second
(how I converted, for your reference):
141.4 miles/hour * 5280 feet/mile * 1/3600 hours/second = 207.4 feet/second
  

       Why this needed to be done is because I know the acceleration of gravity in feet/s/s, not in mile/h/s. I'll link to a nice descriptive page of projectile physics that I grabbed my equations from (I should look these things up in my physics book, but the Internet is much easier).
Worldgineer, Oct 27 2004
  

       Good gravy, but of course!Now I feel silly. I shall read the link thoroughly - projectile physics sounds fun. Thanks [World].
DocBrown, Oct 27 2004
  

       //projectile physics sounds fun.//   

       It was Stonewall Jackson's favorite subject (until he was hit by a projectile, that is). And if it's good enough for a guy who prays while sucking on a lemon, it's good enough for me.
shapu, Oct 27 2004
  


 

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