Marsupial labour-Saving Device

Marsupials have almost perfected giving birth. None of this placental rubbish for them, no! No screaming, no gnashing of teeth, no trying to force anything the size of a grapefruit through a pea-sized hole. Kangaroos and their ilk simply pop out a jelly-bean-sized sprog.

But for an otherwise gravidly well-sorted order, what mama marsupial has to do next is quite at odds with her generally lazy nature. All that licking and grooming of hair, while the little pink marsupial bub climbs its way blindly to the pouch? Why, that's time that could be more productively spent delicately grazing, or posing seductively for tourist photos!

Enter the Marsupial MicroBot Collar. With an attached chamber filled with friendly tick-shaped microbots, the MMBC senses the change in the carrier marsupial's hormones at the start of labour, and releases a half-dozen of its charges. These little 'bots- equipped with legs like lice (perfect for hanging onto fur)- scurry down to the marsupial's nether regions, and shepherd the defenseless marsupial progeny up and into the hairy warmth of mama's pouch.

Job completed, they high-five, and scurry back to the MMBC, with tiny, contentedly maternal clucks.

And with the last vestiges of effort conveniently removed from what was never a terribly trying process, mama marsupial takes a mouthful of some kind of vegetation, and winks at the Nikon.