Marketing Waffle Iron

Bert plugged in the waffle iron his mother had given him, curious as to why any waffle iron needs speakers. Almost immediately, the waffle iron began to speak in a cool, American voice with a smooth, non-regional accent, describing to him how the iron heats itself up slowly for maximum heat potential without any risk of long-term infastructural damage.

As Bert poured in the waffle mix that came with the package, he marveled as the waffle iron, now identifing itself as 'Chet,' detailed to him the labors of the dedicated flavour specialists who spent sleepless hours finding the perfect blend of all natural ingredients for this dilectable mix.

After a twenty minute "food preperation period, tested in over fourty labs across the country for maximum effeciency," Bert pried Chet open to find what was essentially a black hunk of smoking carbon in the shape of a waffle.

Sitting down sadly, Bert munched on what Chet described as "a healthy, delicious way to start each and every morning." It tasted like a chimney.