Management-speak auto responder

It’s a tough day at the office. You’re so busy you barely have time to eat, let alone cruise the internet. Then you get an email from a manager that is essentially a nonsensical paragraph of management-speak. A quick skim through it reveals nothing that can be recognised as a specific request, question or command. You don’t have time for this!

Enter the Management-speak Auto Email Responder, or MAER for short. The MAER uses simple grammar rules to create structured sentences, using nouns, verbs etc. plucked from a lookup table, using random numbers to choose words. Naturally the lookup table would be comprised of nouns such as framework, player etc; verbs such as implement, facilitate, capture etc; adjectives such as key, high-level etc.

The MAER can be configured to respond to emails as flagged by the user, or for the more adventurous/busy worker, it can be set in fully-automatic mode, whereby it will detect an incoming management-speak email (matching words from its lookup table) and reply without any user input.