Man In A Suitcase

Man In A Suitcase was the title of an old British private eye TV series, and now the name has been appropriated for the new item of luggage that doubles up as a bullet proof vest. Here's the details:

Man In A Suitcase looks and operates like most other suitcases - ie it takes the form of an elongated box with a hinged lid and a spacious interior for storing and transporting clothes and other items. Closer examination reveals a subtle difference: There are some oval shaped lines inscribed into the body of the suitcase. If you hold the suitcase in a portrait position, you will see four ovals: two on the left and right sides, a larger one on the top side, and the largest one of the four on the bottom side.

These oval indents correspond to the openings in a type of garment called a "tanktop", and Man In A Suitcase quickly transforms into this item after a few simple steps have been completed. The first of these involves punching out the oval shaped indents. This generates a sort of tortoise shell, only without the occupying tortoise.

The next action is to step inside the suitcase, leaving your head, arms and legs protruding as you close the front lid over your upper torso.

Because the fabric of the suitcase is composed of layers of kevlar, you are now wearing a type of upper body bullet proof vest. You are now in fact Man In A Suitcase. (also fits women of course)