h a l f b a k e r yNot so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.
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Oppressed chickens of the world unite! Report to the nearest gene splicing facility to have your repressed carnal urges for devouring humanoid flesh exposed.
Now you can axe a human’s head off and laugh while his beheaded body runs frantically around the human-coupe.
Enjoy a quick meal at KFP.
(Kentucky Fried People)
Colonel Sanders is now a 20 piece family meal.
Don’t forget to boil your people-parts before you put them on the barbecue. You wouldn’t want to catch South Jersey Virus.
Does this sound crazy? Well with the advent of gene splicing and all of that other man as god-like tampering, Man-eating Chickens are not that far off.
What possible use could this be to human kind? Allow me to extrapolate:
Hate your neighbor? Throw a man-eating chicken in their bedroom. Hate your manager or a fellow employee? Place a man-eating chicken in their cube or office.
Hate anti-meat eating humans? Throw a whole coupe of man-eating chickens at one of their veggie conventions.
Next time an animal rights activist throws pig blood on your baby seal coat; throw a man-eating chicken right back.
Imagine watching the "Man-eating Chicken Hunter" on Animal Planet. “Look at that man-eating chicken. Isn’t she gorgeous! I have to be careful, she’s pregnant and she won’t hesitate to bite my head clear off!
She’s a nasty bugga isn’t she!”
And yes, unlike many new inventions, this is twisted and can only be used for Evil.
Man-eating chicken in this movie
http://us.imdb.com/Plot?0074540
[snarfyguy, Oct 04 2004]
The Big Chicken
http://www.roadside...t/GAMARchicken.html
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004]
Man Eating Chicken
http://www.aristocr...ating%20Chicken.jpg
yum [MikeOliver, Oct 04 2004]
Zoo Attraction
http://www.ananova....tory/sm_790077.html
Shooting caged animals for sport [FloridaManatee, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Scantily Clad in a Chicken Suit
http://www.kfccruel...demopics/elaina.jpg
This is exactly the costume I saw [FloridaManatee, Oct 04 2004]
More Chicks
http://www.kfccruel...demopics/hollyf.jpg
Pun intended [FloridaManatee, Oct 04 2004]
KFC's least popular special
http://www.jcs-grou...hillarychicken1.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004]
Kentucky Fried Fingers
http://www.wackypac...smaller_images.html
Wacky Packages, yet another 70's fad [LoriZ, May 19 2010]
[link]
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I found you via "random". |
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But I admire your skill with the weapons of satire - sometimes the rapier; sometimes the cutlass; sometimes the scalpel. Always the cutting edge. |
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of course, chickens are by definition cowardly. |
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Resistance is futile - The chickens will digest you. Im okay though cos I'm an alien! |
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Dangerous stuff. If chickens get to learn genetic engineering, they could retro-engineer themselves back to dinosaur-like creatures. They already have genes, albeit currently inactive/latent, for teeth and scales. Just get these genes going with a few more more latent primaeval dinosaur ones and increase the growth hormone gene output, tell them the history of man's inhumanity to chickens and, hey presto, man-eating chickens. |
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If you take off the arms on He-Man Masters of the Universe dolls and attach on sides of chickens, they look very menacing.
Handlebar moustache and half-chewed cigar is optional. |
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You've done this, I assume? |
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Breed 'em for flavor and quick growth so that their legs dislocate and crumble and they can't stand without pain. Stuff them standing room only in sunless damp filthy rooms rooms with 40,000 others for the duration of their lives. Manacle them upside down by their feet, partially stun them, slash their throats and skin 'em alive. |
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Then sell their carcasses for two bucks a life. |
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This is baked in the film adaptation of H.G. Wells's "Food of the Gods" (and the orginal work as well, I would imagine), though not on the scale imagined by the author here. |
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I read that was the wholesale price for an undressed broiler. |
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Even if it cost like Kobe beef, it'd be a tragedy. |
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Still, I like my chicken. Where I live, it's difficult to get any but the basic factory kind. I only found out today why they're so cheap. Not that I readily identify with a chicken, but if I think for a moment what it must be like... |
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I heard KFP had to change their name from Kentucky Fried People cos their food didn't actually contain people... |
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This sounded like the old P.T.
Barnum exhibit of the 6 Foot Man
Eating Chicken. Where by getting
there, the patrons got to see a 6ft
tall man sitting at a table, eating
chicken. |
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All this talk reminds me of when my wife dragged me over to see a bunch of women very scantily clad in chicken suits, standing outside the KFC holding big signs that said "KFC TORTURES CHICKENS!" |
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My wife, who knows the guy that controls the franchise in this city, said: "What are they doing!?! I'm going to ask _____ what's up with this strange promotion." |
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"No" I said, "They don't work for KFC; they're protesting." |
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"Well, KFC torturing chickens, for a start." |
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My wife's not dim. It's just the culture of speciesism. We should all stick to buffalo wings. After all, they're only vestigial. |
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You mean, it made the road angry? Bastard chicken. |
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FM: How can you possibly be scantily clad in a chicken suit? |
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It certainly must have something to do with breasts and thighs. |
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//FM: How can you possibly be scantily clad in a chicken suit?// |
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Sorry for the late reply. |
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Take a late 20's/ early 30's caucasian woman in a bikini, add big yellow chicken feet and headgear and a few red green and yellow tail feathers. |
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//Take a late 20's/ early 30's caucasian woman in a bikini// Actually, this is the kind of recipe I LIKE! |
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//It certainly must have something to do with breasts and thighs.// |
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Makes me want to (almost) want to torture chickens just so I can attract the protestors. |
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"Is that a man eating cock in your pocket, or are you just gay to see me?" |
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Well, you crap your pants,
And your step starts to quicken,
That's how you know,
You're running from a chicken,
Eaten by a chicken now,
Eh-Eah-Eah,
Eaten by a chicken now,
Eh-Eah-Eah. |
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[arthur]Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? Ernest Hemingway: To die. Alone. In the rain. |
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chickens are pretty awsome. but id rather eat them than have one eat me. |
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Wow. We're really time-traveling today. |
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