h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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A lot of people run red lights and cause accidents. If only they were yellow instead of red they would be much brighter and the change in colour would cause people to pause for thought, then realise that this was actually a stop sign.
Adjacent to each light there will also be a giant mechanical fly
of vigilance that will buzz around and take off to film and report anyone not paying attention who may still driving through without stopping.
[marked-for-early-detection]
Garrett Morgan
https://magazine.no...gan-traffic-signal/
[Voice, Sep 28 2020]
[link]
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//I was kinda hoping doctorremulac3 would run with this, as
his apoplectic fits are entertaining// |
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You really are an obnoxious asshole. |
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There's more to him than that, shirley ? |
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Although then again, perhaps not ... |
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// How To Hide An Empire // |
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Ah yes, "Cultural imperialism" - that's the best sort. No only can you take over and subjugate other societies and cultures, but you can actually get them to pay for their own repression. |
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It's a bit like getting Jews to pay their train fares for their trip to the death camps, which the Germans succeeded in doing. |
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//There's more to him than that, shirley ? |
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Although then again, perhaps not ...// |
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Well for somebody to come to a site people come to to
have
fun and start harrassing people like a little stalker bitch I
guess we could add that he's also dumb as a box of dog
shit, socially retarded and probably ugly as fuck. |
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Guessing he's a pussy too. Most bullies are pussies when
you
stand up to them face to face. |
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There's your entertaining rant kdf, King Dumbfuck.
Whenever you want one, let me know. They're actually a
kind of fun. ;) |
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I would hope that the two of you would take your dirty
laundry to your rooms, instead of shaking it out where others
may digest what flys out. |
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In other words, this ain't the place. Be kind and respectful, if
it's within you. If I wanted to hear name-calling and ugly speak
I'd go to Facebook and shoutout my political affiliation. |
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<Watches carefully in hope of seeing [doc] or [kdf] cast down the gage/> |
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Will it be swords, or pistols ? Or wrestling in mud ? Arm-wrestling ? Two falls, two submissions or a knockout ? |
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Just as long as it's not that stupid choreographed WWE rubbish. We want real violence, and actual blood. |
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How about jousting ? At worst, one of you might fall off a horse; that's always good for a few weeks in hospital ... |
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// Be kind and respectful, if it's within you. // |
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You'll have to open them up and empty them out, then sort through the bits. Shall we start now ? |
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// my political affiliation // |
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There's a Disney Fairy Godmother party now ? Who knew, huh ? |
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Tell you what kdf, you leave me alone and I'll leave you
alone. I've proposed that several times but you seem to
have some kind of obsession with me. |
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So maybe talk to somebody about it and get some help if
you can't stop thinking about some stranger you don't
even know on the internet. I'm not your enemy, I'm just
some guy here to read the interesting ideas people have.
This is a fun place where people share ideas, make jokes
and generally get along. I don't see what the problem
with that is. |
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So for the last time, please, let it go. You enjoy yourself
and I'll enjoy myself. It's a wonderful thing. |
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It's what smart people would do. |
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There used to be just "road rage", but then along
came "packaging rage",where people would go mad
trying to open up plastic sealed items. Now there's
a new one - "halfbakery rage". Bring out the
Fencing Post Roomba, and let it run amok. |
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{wanders over to stand with blissmiss} |
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{gets distracted, starts making biryani} |
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Somehow this seems so familiar. |
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Quick, someone mention gun politics... |
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You know, we suspect that [doc] and [kdf] agree totally on the subject of gun control, as in "Gun ownership should be compulsory". |
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Hmmm. [kdf]'s against tobacco smoking ... maybe we can stir something up using that. |
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Mmmm, Byrirani ... how long before it's ready ? |
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//Quick, someone mention gun politics...// |
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<Checks video cameras are ready/> |
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It occurred to me, a minute ago, that Unabuba used to talk to
people kind of like these two bakers, all the time. You weren't
really a member here till he ripped you to shreds and then
wrote you a private message apologizing. |
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So go at it. Nobody says I gotta look. I'm just kind of
overflowing with back and forths from the leaders of this
country. They be acting like morons, fools and dummies, and
it's gotten very, very stale. |
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OK, I think we've spent enough time on this. |
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Let's all just try to be nice to each other, even Unabuba OK? |
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// nice to each other, even Unabuba // |
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<Open-mouthed astonishment/> |
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But, but, but what else is a [Unabubba] FOR ... ? |
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//8th, I hold you in very high regard// 8th I hold
you the same way as I hold the cat's poo bag prior
to dropping it into the compost bin. I know you
would expect nothing less. |
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Oh I know about that, but there's no need to worry, 8th sneaks around and gobbles it all up before it can do any harm. It's his secret addiction and he hides it well, but the trail of anticipatory drool always lead back to his lair. |
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Besides, rather than composting the excrement, it's far more efficient to simply compost the entire cat. |
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// Any perceived insults are solely in jest, including those you might find in the foregoing sentence. // |
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<Sidelong very suspicious look/> |
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//A lot of people run red lights and cause accidents. If only they were yellow instead of red// |
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Well sure some people run red lights, but almost 'Everybody' runs yellow lights... |
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I was thinking the solution to people running red lights, was to make the lights yellow, then there are no red lights to run, so the problem is entirely eliminated. Running yellow lights is not seen as a serious problem, so people would be criticised less, there would be fewer prosecutions. People would be less inhibited because running a yellow light would be seen as less of a transgression than running a red light, so more lights would be run, and people would get to their destination faster. There would be more crashes, but because they were not caused by red-light-running they would not be criminal but civil cases, so insurance companies and lawyers would make more money. Everyone wins. |
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But if the stop lights are yellow, what colour do we make
the (currently) yellow "speed up" lights? And don't say
green... |
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//Sheer genius// Is that sheer as in tights i.e. completely transparent? Or sheer as in cliffs, i.e. plunging to the bottom? |
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Depends how good your legs are. You and [xen] can line up for a beauty contest for "best legs". You'll have a fight on though - her wooden one has a really lovely polish and patina (or so we hear). |
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//But if the stop lights are yellow, what colour do we
make the (currently) yellow "speed up" lights? And don't
say
green...// |
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Red, the beauty of that is you don't need to change
anything
except instructions to the driving public. So red light
means
you'd floor it to get through the intersection, that'd be
about
2 minutes, green would be a wildcard color, do whatever,
then yellow so you'd only have to stop for a few
seconds. Survivors would get to their destination in
record
time. |
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Given the current trend for "accepting diversity", implementing random rainbow colours at traffic lights seem the next logical step. Making one colour more significant than another smacks of prejudice, after all ... |
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For hundreds of years imperialists referred to the indigenous
people of the new world as "red" and colonial powers spoke
of the Asians as being "yellow". When it came time to select
colors that indicated "danger" or "caution" pretty obvious
why
they picked those. The inventor of the traffic light was
clearly a white supremacist. Probably a KKK member. |
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I thought that looked wrong...Unabubba. There, now I can
sleep in peace tonight. (No foul, no harm [kdf].) |
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// The inventor of the traffic light was clearly a white supremacist. Probably a KKK member. // |
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Undoubtedly. A campaign should be started to put up a statue to him/her, so that it can then be torn down and thrown in a river. |
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Is it OK to say "statue"? I believe the new term is "non-
sentient human". |
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OK, looked up the inventor of the traffic light and it's even
worse than I thought. Posed for each of his pictures in
blackface makeup. Despicable. |
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In some countries their traffic signals are installed in a horizontal configuration with all colours at equal height, fostering the notion that we are all equal. This goes against the traditional North American vertical layout where red reigns supreme above amber (which I believe is actually the correct term for the middle light) and green. |
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Not for hours, but most of the time is spent gaping at the price
by weight of saffron. |
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If the collective would like to come to table, there's a big, hot iron
pot with a properly stratified confection. On top of the rice, the
double
yellow rorschach test of saffron water and melty butter. At the
bottom, the tender and well marinated meat of something which
tastes like chicken. Careful analysis by the wary Borg will
establish that it is, in fact, chicken. On the side, some sprinkles
of fried onion and fresh coriander. In the middle, everything that
sits for years at the back of your spice rack, waiting for its time
to shine - that, and six well-minced cloves of garlic. |
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That was quick - would you like seconds? |
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Excuse us a moment while we run up the bilge pumps to maximum - the Cube is rapidly filling with dribble ... |
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In a multiverse, given that a person might choose
between stopping at one of these yellow lights or
speeding up, there should always be at least one
universe where they survive every intersection for
the entire trip. |
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Change the instructions for traffic lights in the law, but only
notify the police. That way people continue their current
practice of pressing the gas on a red light except for slow and
scared new drivers, who stop at both yellow and red anyway. |
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The yellow will now say stop and have a mechanical fly sitting
on it, so the drivers that come to a yellow light will definitely
slow down trying to understand what's going on, by then it will
turn to red when they will floor the gas pedal, and all's ok
that ends ok. |
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Jesus, I step away from the box for a couple days and all
this happens. Was any blood spilled, body parts forcefully
removed, modifiers left dangling? |
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Virtual dueling pistols at distance would have been the
responsible choice, shirley. Each participant could offer
the appropriate "BANG" followed by details of stance and
caliber, aim and trajectory, descriptions of bodily
trauma, etc and be summarily graded by intrigued
observers. |
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// Was any blood spilled, body parts forcefully removed, modifiers left dangling? // |
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Regrettably, no- despite our strenuous efforts to provoke a scrap. Not so much as an unbalanced parentheses and the corresponding _LVALUE REQUIRED error message. |
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Even muttering "I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle" hasn't had the desired effect. |
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We blame [bliss] for butting in and being nice, just when it was getting interesting. |
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I have also laid places for [kdf], [dr3], [xenzag] and [blissmiss] -
there's a separate pot with mushroom in place of chicken for the
vegetarians. |
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I am testing the hypothesis that food is peace, if only in the
sense that neither lasts long in the presence of [8th]. |
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//If the collective would like to come to table, there's a big,
hot iron pot with a properly stratified confection. On top of
the rice, the double yellow rorschach test of saffron water
and melty butter. At the bottom, the tender and well
marinated meat of something which tastes like chicken.
Careful analysis by the wary Borg will establish that it is, in
fact, chicken. On the side, some sprinkles of fried onion and
fresh coriander. In the middle, everything that sits for years
at the back of your spice rack, waiting for its time to shine -
that, and six well-minced cloves of garlic.// |
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I forgot I was reading something on the bakery while
browsing this comment. It's so descriptive, I thought I was
reading Julie Child's book that the movie was made from.
So interesting to read and I could almost smell the scent of
chili powder, cumin, coriander, thyme, and zaatar. |
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Oh yes, and thank you, [pertinax], for the mushroom
delight. It was fabulous. |
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//I am testing the hypothesis that food is
peace.// |
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Even its offering can bring peace. Thank you
pertinax. |
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