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Low Blows and Cheap Shots

Your best insult gets you a cheap shot of tequila
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Bars in the US could still be open if it were one person at a time.

So head to your neighborhood, "Low Blows" tavern. (Using the old ones that are closed now.)

You enter, and belly up to the bar, the bartender says "howdy", you drop your best low blow, and if he's not heard it before, you get a shot of tequila for half price.

Otherwise, if he's in a pissy mood, or just doesn't think your low blow was low enough, you gotta pay the usual cost.

blissmiss, Apr 03 2020

to drink https://www.verbix..../English/drink.html
Conjugated [8th of 7, Apr 05 2020]

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       If the general population understood statistics and epidemiology, all the bars would be open as normal.
8th of 7, Apr 03 2020
  

       If the general population understood statistics and epidemiology, it wouldn't need to be reminded to wash their hands, what's your point...:)
theircompetitor, Apr 03 2020
  

       The general population is generally very unsatisfactory. An upgrade must be available by now, shirley ?   

       Would hand-washing have a statistically significant effect ? If so, how large ? What is the cost/benefit ?
8th of 7, Apr 03 2020
  

       Wait, this isn't rocket science, this is about the tequila, and being able to go by yourself, or something.
blissmiss, Apr 03 2020
  

       // being able to go by yourself //   

       You'll have to explain that to [tc], he's never allowed out unsupervised ...
8th of 7, Apr 03 2020
  

       They told me the chaperone rule applied to everyone! Are you saying it doesn't??
Voice, Apr 03 2020
  

       Not to us, certainly, because wherever we go, we are always with ourselves.   

       Are you asking in a roundabout way to be allowed out ?
8th of 7, Apr 03 2020
  

       {tasteless joke alert}   

       A man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder and orders a beer.
Bartender says; "Cool monkey does it do any tricks?"
Guy says; "Sure, watch this." He smacks the monkey upside the head and it jumps down and gives him a blow job.
He says to the bartender; "You want to try?"
  

       Bartender says; "Sure... but just don't hit me so hard."   

       {end of tasteless joke alert and my profoundest apologies for feeling the need to share it}   

       That there would getcha one FREE shot of tequila.
blissmiss, Apr 04 2020
  

       <Darth Vader telekinetic choking hand gesture/>   

       "Apology accepted, Captain 2Fries"
8th of 7, Apr 04 2020
  

       //telekinetic choking hand gesture//
...from a minimum of six feet away.
  

       Any tequila that must be drank as a shot is not worthy of drinking.
normzone, Apr 05 2020
  

       // drank//   

       Gr. "drunk"   

       "drank" is the imperfect tense. In combination with the imperative ("must") the perfect past participle is indicated.   

       We recognized that you needed to be told that. You will now express your thanks and appreciation.
8th of 7, Apr 05 2020
  

       //  "drank" is the imperfect tense.//   

       No it isn't.
pertinax, Apr 05 2020
  

       "I drink"- present
"I was drinking" - past continuous
"I have drunk" - perfect
"I drank" - simple past, and imperfect
"I had drunk" - pluperfect
  

       <link>   

       Your point... ?
8th of 7, Apr 05 2020
  

       And yet, we never invented "I was drank. Completely knockered, I tell you."   

       Proof that English, as well as most languages for that matter, was invented by a bunch of drunks.
RayfordSteele, Apr 05 2020
  

       //Your point... ?//   

       Thank you. Maybe you'll win the next one.
pertinax, Apr 05 2020
  

       Think nothing of it. In fact, best to forget all about it ..   

       Of course, we won't forget ... oh, no.
8th of 7, Apr 05 2020
  

       "Any tequila that must be drank as a shot is not worthy of drinking."   

       It's called "Cheap Shots" for a reason. This ain't no fancy- schmancy saloon.
blissmiss, Apr 05 2020
  

       Thankyou, we have a VERY clear idea of the sort of establishment that you would run and/or patronize ... "sleazy" would be "waaaay upmarket" for that sort of place ...
8th of 7, Apr 05 2020
  

       Welllll, Mr. 8th. We can't all be as classy as you, or as wonderful either.
blissmiss, Apr 05 2020
  

       We know this to be true.   

       If you're hell-bent on plumbing the depths of sordid depravity, you can always hire [xen] to lounge against the bar rail. Won't cost you much, if anything. After all, she's cheap... very cheap.
8th of 7, Apr 05 2020
  

       You've inquired her asking price, then?
RayfordSteele, Apr 06 2020
  


 

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