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So this pretty-but-dumb looking announcer announces the
next lottery: “oooh, its lucky legs eleven! What ever could be
next!”
It's horrific. How exciting can little bouncing balls going round
in a funny machine be?
Lets liven in up by using humans as lottery balls and then
make them perform
some arbitrary task to determine the
lottery winners.
First of all, people are selected to be a lottery ball like
people are selected for jury duty. So when you're selected for
lottery duty, you arrive at the predetermined place and put
on a random ball-suit. Basically, you end up looking like a giant
lottery ball with only your little legs sticking out the bottom,
(which are covered in nylon tights). Your hands are tucked
inside the ball (no pushing) and you cannot see out of the suit.
Then there are two draws - the first to select a random task.
The second to select the criteria for winning that task.
For example, the randomly selected task that the lottery-ball-
people have to perform is to run across a field. All the lottery-
ball-people have to line up in a row and then run from one
end to the other. Because they cannot see where they are
going, this should be interesting.
Now, there are also randomly selected criteria for 'winning'
the task. This is the second draw. So, for example, the 6
winning balls might be the first 6 to make it to the other end
of the field. It might be the last 6 to make it across. It might
be the first 6 to stand in a cowpat. Or it could be the first 6 to
fall flat on their face…
The giant lottery balls never know what's coming. It's up to
them whether to run fast or slow or fall down or do whatever.
Reality TV fans will watch the lottery show religiously and its
just so much more fun when you've got a bit of money on it, so
lottery ticket sales will go up.
a lottery ball person
http://www.zwartkops.co.za/ball.html
[Flux, Feb 10 2005]
a big crane
http://www.rampants...cs/finnieston8g.jpg
[calum, Feb 10 2005]
Cheggers can't be boozers
http://www.martinwh...wapshop/s-Keith.GIF
[calum, Feb 10 2005]
Ball People
http://www.oinc.net...Enc/display.php?725
[normzone, Feb 11 2005]
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Or stick people in 49 (or however many) zorbs and place them in a gigantic bingo ball machine, floating on a pontoon at a commercial docks, and have the zorbs pulled out of the machine by a massive crane. |
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Cool. As long as the crane is quite random and picks up
any ball. No lottery fixing is allowed. |
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I suppose you could have the zorbs picked out by the same arbitrary mechanism as the UK lottery ball machines and knocked off the top of the machine by the crane operator swinging a sweetie filled, Keith Chegwin-shaped pinata wrecking ball, the zorbs going flying into a specially cordoned off area of the water, to bob about while being sorted into ascending numerical order, while dockside children scramble for candy. |
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I've never quite understood why the lottery draw has to be any sort of televisual event at all. Why don't they just draw the numbers and leave it at that. That's all that anyone's really interested in so why do we have to endure the third rate production that goes on around it? (Didn't win again this week. Can you tell?) |
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[The Ball People], a Ringworld term for humanoids who came from a spherical planet, as opposed to living on the inside of an artificial structure. |
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