h a l f b a k e r yFaster than a stationary bullet.
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Aside from ripping off the dust cover from your sofa, I can't think of a better way to retrieve lost treasures from your sofa than to train a hamster to search and rescue your items. A training school would be too unique to profit but a book might be a best seller.
Good Hamie!
http://www.myhammie...amster-training.php
[outloud, Nov 24 2009]
[link]
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What if you lose the hamster? |
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what's wrong with "train an animal to do X" if said animals are known to be able to be trained to "do X" ? |
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But what you actually want are mutant wingless ravens to retrieve shiny stuff and build an easily accessible nest out of it. |
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//What if you lose the hamster?// |
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There was an old sofa that swallowed a hamster,
I don't know why it swallowed the hamster
Perhaps it'll die. |
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There was an old sofa that swallowed a ferret,
It swallowed the ferret to catch the hamster
that... |
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A stoat might be better as they are even smaller and more agile than ferrets, but there's probably no room in their tiny, vicious hate-filled brains for any training ... |
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An elephant would be good, its trunk could reach anywhere. |
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like my earlier fish feeding cat toy, this hamster could live just fine on the sifted refuse of weekend parties and rented movie snacks. If he wanted anything more special, he'd have to surface with jewelry or change. |
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Oh, my overweight aunt marge visited last week, and we have not been able to find the crushed hamster. |
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//litter tray// Doesn't the sofa serve that function for all these animals? |
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And while they're at it, they can eat all the popcorn and M&Ms they find. |
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A guy who works for me used to have a ferret for doing cable runs. The method is simple, create two holes at opposite ends of where you want to run a cable. Attach a string to the ferret and insert it into the first hole. Close up the hole and the ferret will look for light in order to get out. Seconds later, hey presto, the ferret appears at the second hole. |
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// a ferret for doing cable runs // |
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Yes, widely-known-to-exist, and VERY efficient. |
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But if you're a family of rabbits thinking of modernising your home, think twice before employing a ferret sparky. |
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Dammit FlyingToaster. I've just had a total cock-up of a weekend with the SPCA and the local sheriff's dept. |
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The mutant part I could do nothing about, at present, but I was putting my level best toward the wingless part with half dozen of the blackbirds (best I could do) that fell to my carrion baited snares last friday. Didn't take the Ingersolls long at all to summon a sheriff. I know it was them. Who else? |
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Please take care with your suggestions in the future. I've gained some of my finest inspiration from this forum, and the neighbors continue to resist enlightenment. This has set us back a bit. |
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looking forward to your annual wing pie. |
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Teams of specially trained ants would be better. Firstly, they can go about their job more unobtrusively than either a hamster or an elephant, secondly they are temperamentally more inclined to work as a team so will be more efficient and thirdly they'll work for minimum wage. |
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good lord people. a poster mentions hamsters and you all jump on. and ferrets are obviously a better choice. |
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A hamster would be best for this project as it is easy to train and could quite possibly find that remote control that you lost ages ago. It helps to employ a large enough hamster from the start. |
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A trap door could be built into the back of your sofa, leading to the pet's cage. Many reward features are possible but ultimately, it's whatever works best.
........Link |
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A ferret wouldn't work because you would most likely find a few of your treasures disappearing from your house, into his nest in the sofa. An elephant wouldn't work because, well........ it's large. And it's large. And it is unlikely to remove more that it deposits over time. |
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// Teams of specially trained ants would be better.// |
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Ants would no doubt build their nest from the wood parts of your sofa so they would be counterproductive and might also send off runners to locate and nest in other of your overstuffed furniture. |
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Gotta be a hamster. He/she fits all the requirments. |
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Ah, but then you could charge the ants rent, thus reducing your already minimal overheads further. You could also implement a full company store system by providing jam and sugar from your larder at inflated prices. |
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// you could charge the ants rent // |
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I don't get this. You are suggesting introducing a monetary system to ants so that you can persuade them to find your money for you and charge them for the priveledge. Only humans are stupid enough to fall for that old chestnut. |
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An ant may work its heart out, but it can't make money..........google proverb |
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Good point, The_Saint. I shall therefore modify my plan and, instead, employ a young, human child to live in my sofa. |
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