Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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There goes my teleportation concept.

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Look! Drunken Go-Karts

D.W.I. has never been so safe or fun!
 
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Imagine a bar... but not just any bar, a bar where you get smashed than, if your B.A.C. is found to be over a cirtin level, you are givin a high speed Go-Kart with bumpergaurds. As if this weren’t enough, the track would be laden with dangerous obstacles such as oil slicks and pot-holes. Extra time points would be granted to drivers that blow through stoplights, and could manage to hit the small, conveyer belt mounted stuff animals that periodically attempt to cross the speedway as well.

In addition to the superfluous amount of income that will inevitably be made, there are tons of things you can do to milk the idea for even more money. Advanced racers may choose to bring their own carts; widening the go-kart industry and creating jobs for their drunken pit crews (imagine that :> ).This new sport would also open up opportunities for gambling; perhaps even different classes would erupt ranging from "light-weight" all the way up to "super heavy-weight" depending on alcohol tolerance You could even own the hotel conveniently placed adjacent to the bar to host the hoard of dunks that can’t drive home.

FeelinPhine, Nov 09 2003

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       This is practically baked in a place where I live (Ramstein, Germany). There is an indoor go-kart place that has a bar in it. The operators don't really mind when people go driving smashed. A friend of mine was blized and took the yellow flag from the man waving it as he drove by and proceeded to drive around with it. He just got a 2 minute time-out.   

       I don't know if it's done for psychological reasons or what, but the cars do not have seat belts of any kind. Just a bucket seat and a single foam pad on the steering column. The cart are quick too, perhaps going in excess of 35 mph (50km/h) which seems fast in a tight indoor track.
KLRico, Nov 10 2003
  

       Make the inside of the go-karts full of sharp spiky things and remove the seatbelts and it has my vote. Heck, you got my vote anyhow. If people realize how poorly they drive a go-kart while intoxicated on ETOH, maybe they will keep off the real roads.
Klaatu, Nov 10 2003
  

       French-style breakfast foodstuff for you!
Mistress Bling, Nov 10 2003
  

       I can recall playing MotoGP2 while smashed and making bets as to which one of us could finish - nevermind the times ... [+]   

       p.s. - thanks for getting away from the crapper-based ideas (at least for this one)
Letsbuildafort, Nov 10 2003
  

       (Letsbuild) a few days late... yea I was a bit stuck on all that business.
FeelinPhine, Nov 13 2003
  

       sounds awsome!!
wooooo28, Nov 13 2003
  

       I'm not sure whether this is a good idea or not, as it could either raise awareness of how bad you are at driving when you're drunk or glamorize and encourage doing it, but it definitely can be sung to "Go! Mighty Orbots!"
darksasami, Nov 14 2003
  

       I've seen specially modified cars that simulate preformance under the infulence ... but in that you were sober, and it was difficult ... here, you're drunk and having the time of your life
Letsbuildafort, Nov 14 2003
  

       If you are drunk and drive a car that is supposed to simulate you are drunk, would you driver properly?
GenYus, Feb 02 2004
  

       I think it would just explode.
Letsbuildafort, Feb 02 2004
  

       For those who don't live in [KLRico]'s neighborhood, I can, like [Letsbuildafort], enthusiatically recommend intoxicated driving games. Two friends and I used to go to a bar, have a beer each, and compete head-to-head until we'd all finished our first beers. Whoever had the worst combined time from these early rounds was the designated (real world) driver, and the other two got sloshed. So the competition in the early rounds was brutal.   

       The game we were playing was great - it was San Francisco Rush, which has all these side stunts that make the intoxicated play that much better. "Hey, my time DOES get better if I leave the track to duck under that semi and hit the ramp and jump over those buildings!" Also the game was clearly built to keep everyone pretty close together no matter how much of an ability gap there was.   

       The main problem was for the designated driver, during the drive home (in the mountains), to avoid giving in to the urging of his two compatriots that much more fun might be had by all if he'd just swerve around that car ahead and jump the creek because surely that horse trail over on the other side was a great shortcut.
egads, Feb 02 2004
  

       I was involved in having a 3 course black tie dinner in the centre of a dogem arena to rasie money for a local charity and after the dinner and lots of wine we all had a go. It's much better bladdered.
oneoffdave, Feb 03 2004
  
      
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