h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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The reason toast always lands butter side down is because of it's moment of inertia and the height of your counter. We can consider counter height to be fixed, as changing it dramatically will not be comfortable. Therefore, we should change the moment of inertia of the toast. Bread should come in
long skinny loaves with long skinny slices. Rotating about the long axis, a well designed slice will make a complete rotation before landing. Rotating about the short axis, it will make less than a quarter rotation. Both cases leave you with the butter side up.
Of course, this leaves less uncrusted bread area and the need for redesigned toasters, but safety usually comes at a cost.
Inward shrinking shirts
Oddly enough, inspired here. [Worldgineer, Feb 04 2005]
Drawing? Are you serious?
http://www.tildas.c...choc%20biscotti.jpg
Let's use our imagination instead. It'll look like this, only with a rectangular profile. And a bit thinner. [Worldgineer, Feb 04 2005, last modified Feb 05 2005]
Mass Moment of Inertia
http://www.efunda.c...me=RectangularBlock
Using this and bread density you can determine the appropriate shape. [Worldgineer, Feb 05 2005]
Baragami
http://members.aol....ewtrah/baragami.htm
"DEDICATED TO THE ANCIENT WELSH DECORATIVE ART OF BARAGAMI" [prufrax, Feb 05 2005]
[link]
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Would this really work? Does it do this because of something else? Or is it just like shirt shrinkage, it always shrinks shorter? (Or in this case, lands butter side down?) |
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Though it seems like you're talking french bread. |
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Well, that's what I was thinking. I've seen rectangular bread like that, so it sadly is baked, no pun intended. |
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Has your bread been designed to fall correctly? Or is it possible it was too skinny, resulting in more than one rotation, or too fat, resulting in less than one? |
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Mine would be designed to be Butter Safe™, and would be marketed as such. |
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Great work, [soph]. I want you on my marketing team. |
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Would it not be simpler to engineer a
profiled butter-knife so that it imprints
the image of a cat's back into the butter
as it is spread? |
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We would then have to embark on a campaign to re-shape the public's expectation of what a piece of toast should look like. Given the masses of humanity involved in toasting rituals, this could be very costly. |
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This money should be spent on an entirely different project. I would advocate modifying the starch and fiber format of the crust zone of the toastable medium to function as a folded parachute. |
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A fiber-based velocity-sensitive trigger mechanism could jettison the chute in the event of a toastfall. The toast could be gently landed on a butter-free side. |
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I say develop a toast-buttering station that butters the bottom of the toast. |
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This doesn't explain why when I drop toast on the table or even the countertop--greatly varied heights--it yet falls butter side down. |
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Also, this idea assumes that the rotational energy given the toast at launch is unvarying and I think that that is a way naive assumption. |
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Hmmmm, you've got a point there. We might have to market bread in different toaster-type rating classes. Not to mention periodic toaster calibration. |
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Long skinny toast plates would need to be devised to counter crumbs. Great for fondue parties and animals with long skinny faces. |
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...so horses, aardvaark, armadillos and anteaters have got it licked! (The Toast, that is) |
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Changing the shape of bread would also necessitate the invention of a whole new range of baragami designs... |
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Counter height may be fixed in each house, but it will vary from home to home. Consequently, bread should be produced in a range of sizes, each optimised to give a different moment of inertia. |
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Could one not make butter frothed with
hydrogen or helium, thereby shifting
the centre of mass towards the non-
buttered side? Hydrogen would be
embarrassing for smokers, I guess
(crunch-puff-whoooomf). Helium
would be a hit with the kids (post-toast
mickey-mouse voice). The frothing
might also make the butter easier to
spread, thereby reducing the
spreading-forces required and perhaps
reducing the likelihood of inadvertent
toast accidents. |
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...OR...and I think I'm onto something
here......just make the bread bigger. I
mean like 8' x 4'. A family-sized slice
would be very unlikely to acquire
enough spin to flip before hitting the
floor. Good for toaster manufacturers
also. |
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Does a dropped whole pizza fall topping side down? |
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Toast should be dispensed on a continuous conveyor belt with a rectangular holder above it for gravity fed pound blocks of butter. It would be pancake mix made to look like toast but it would not fall onto the floor. |
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Heh. Toast batter. I wonder how close to a toasted bread quality one could come. |
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on the pizza question [bris], only if there is white carpet. |
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same principle applies to chocolate cake. |
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//Does a dropped whole pizza fall topping side down?
bristolz, Feb 05 2005 //
Deep pan or Crispy Crust? - it's important! |
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//this idea assumes that the rotational energy given the toast at launch is unvarying// I thought someone might pick up on that. Yes, there's a thousand ways to drop a slice of toast. The bread size should be optimized based on the forces involved in a gentle knock off a counter. |
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I recall a children's science show (Mr. Wizard?) that perfomed a similar experiment. They showed that it always landed butter side down when gently knocked off a counter, then continued up a ladder trying different heights before it would flip all the way over. It surprised them how high you'd have to be for a full flip - which can be explained by the acceleration of gravity. |
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//Does a dropped whole pizza fall topping side down?// This is an experiment I am unwilling to perform. |
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I tried it with a frozen pizza in the wrapper. If you give it a good shove, it hardly has a chance to rotate at all. However, I'd guess most pizzas slide slowly off the counter, or are flipped off. In both cases the pizza consistently landed topping-down. |
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A cooked pizza would be lighter, but probably not enough to change the results. In my expereience, delivery pizza will always dump the cheese/toppings before heading for the floor, and the bread lands folded. |
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Snakes are unlike cats in that they never land on their feet. |
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//We're gonna need cats that are 6 feet long and an inch wide.// |
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"Here's one we prepared earlier..." |
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