h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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I'm lucky enough never to have had the compulsion to bite
my nails unless it so happens I haven't got clippers handy.
It seems to me, however, that they could be made more
appetising and appeal to veggies.
Even after three decades of vegetarianism, I really miss
pork scratchings. What they
amount to is fried skin.
Sufficiently long nails could be fried with a combination of
lasers and cooking oil in short bursts before the heat passes
to the rest of the finger. Once this has been done, the end
of your fingernails will be effectively "long pork"
scratchings. At that point, various flavours of varnish can
be applied to them - barbecue, chilli, dry-roasted peanut
spice, whatever. Thereby providing you with an almost
literally handy snack.
You could do your toes as well.
[po]'s somewhat similar idea.
Flash Chewy Nails
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/flash_20chewy_20nails [nineteenthly, Dec 12 2015]
[link]
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We tried some Long Pig at last year's Walpurgisnacht celebration on the Buchanan estates. It was very nice, particularly as the Buchanan family have a long tradition of raising free-range Long Pig, then hunting them in the wild. That does wonders for the texture and flavour. |
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The idea is, by comparison, somewhat anaemic ... |
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Which reminds me, [8th] - did you by any chance
leave behind a weaponized golf umbrella in the
lower north-east conservatory? We can't think of
anyone else who it could belong to. |
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Howevertheless, I don't think this idea will really
work. Pork scratchings are so brilliant because
they contain lots of fat and general pigginess held
together with collagen and elastin. Fingernails, on
the other hand, are largely keratin. |
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If vegetarians want to enjoy all manner of pig-
based snacks, they should just learn to lighten up
and take a day off every now and again. |
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Ahhh, we were wondering where it was. |
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You might want to be a bit careful how you handle it, as the safety pin is a little loose and tends to drop out at certain angles. Once it's armed, well, you've got a big problem, unless it goes off, in which case you never have any problems ever again. |
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Thankyou for the mandrake and beladonna preserve, by the way. |
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Yes, we noticed the loose pin. Damned thing left a
small dent in the ceiling of the north-east gun-
cleaning room. If you like, I could get my gunsmith
to fix it; he can also bore it out a little if you like -
.03 ammunition is so hard to find these days. |
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Preserve?? That was the pile ointment you asked for. |
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Skin is tissue, made up of protein and fat (meat,
essentially). Fingernails are hair. I don't think
they're going to taste very good, no matter how well
you cook them. |
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No don't say fingernails are hair! They are the same kind of stuff, but saying they are hair makes one think of a primitive humans with hair growing out of the ends of their fingers locked in combat. |
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Ah, so you've been to one of [MB]'s parties too ? |
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// Fingernails are hair. I don't think they're going to taste very good, no matter how well you cook them. // |
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McDonald's seem to have that one pretty much taped ... |
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I would be surprised: I'm sure McDonald's prefers glue. |
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