h a l f b a k e r yEureka! Keeping naked people off the streets since 1999.
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The shoes are attached such that they slide against each other along two interlinked sliding rails on the sides of the shoes facing each other. Picture somebody with bound feet walking taking very very little tiny steps about 10 inches or so.
The bottom of the shoes have one way rollers on them that
only allow then to move forward. The motor then slides the shoes back and forth very very fast moving the person forward.
Picture the way the wife from Married with Children walks only super fast.
An alternate version would take actual steps and look like somebody riding a tiny bike.
Both versions are powered by steam and make "chugga chugga" sounds as you go flying by impressing man and babe alike.
If you insist...
http://www.youtube....watch?v=MCtyVtqJgJk
[normzone, Oct 27 2014]
What the alternative version would look like.
https://www.youtube...watch?v=SSkBRskWdzs
Only standing and without the little bike of course. [doctorremulac3, Oct 27 2014]
Our local steam train park
http://www.roaringcamp.com/
Highly recommended if you're ever out this way. [doctorremulac3, Oct 28 2014]
The Bluebell Railway
https://en.wikipedi...ki/Bluebell_Railway
Steam trains are still running here! [DrBob, Oct 28 2014]
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This would solve a problem that has plagued mankind
for generations. |
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If this can solve one problem the possibilities are un-limitless. |
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Have you talked to the UN about this? |
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I'm not at liberty to discuss... no. |
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Pretty sure they'd be on board with the program if the good of the people were at stake. And if steamer trunks full of money were involved. |
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Pretty sure I can rustle up a steamer trunk if you can raise the money to put into it. |
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North Korea allegedly has a program to develop this
technology. |
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I wouldn't want this technology to fall into the wrong
hands. |
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Unless they were willing to pay for it. |
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Ok, now seeking investors. |
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It's a safe bet that an investment of ten million dollars would give an annual return of five to ten percent, but only for a year or two, at which time another fresh infusion of money would probably be necessary. We've ironed out everything but the product development and marketing. |
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If you make them steam powered (I'm envisioning a coal fired, backpack boiler as the power source) then you can have a bun, which I have already provisionally provided. |
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Did I forget to mention that these are steam powered? |
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And yes, they make a very loud chugging sound as they get up to speed, slowly at first, then very fast just like a steam locomotive. |
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As this is a novelty item designed for zany hijinks and/or wacky tomfoolery I'll let you guess where the steam outlet is located. |
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And if you're really warped, for bonus points you can guess where the steam whistle extends from when it blows. |
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I guarantee, you enter the party wearing one of these babies they'll never forget you. (No matter how hard they try.) |
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Sooner or later you're going to step on a crack... |
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Is this solely steam powered, or just steam-assisted? I suspect the latter, unless you're going to carry something likely a re-plumbed samovar on your back. Anyway, you wouldn't want something that was too powerful to override, or you'd cramp up, fall over and lie twitching helplessly like Kafka's cockroach, while scalding steam squirted the wrong way out of your boiler. With that reservation, [+]. |
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AND it happens again. Last week I began wondering about the continued existence of the words "steam train" in the language. |
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Given that the latest music buying generation has likely never seen a steam train, how did the words " like a steam train " make it into Hilltop Hoods " Cosby Sweater " lyrics ? It's a great piece of music / lyrics, check it out if you've not heard it. |
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When did the last steam train run ? Are there still some tourist models in use? |
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We've got 'em running at a park here in nor-Cal. (See link) |
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They're awesome to watch. Very loud, lots of steam, lots of smoke. Got that mechanical ballet thing going with the piston/wheel arrangement. Beautiful. |
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My grandfather was an engineer for the Southern Pacific which I always thought led to my dad becoming what he called "The not fun kind of engineer". (Electrical/Mechanical) |
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Anyway, grandpa can be seen in a movie with his train racing a car. It's called... what's the name "From Kansas City" or something. Old black and white film. |
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