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Litter Berm
Similar to the Western Sahara Wall in Morocco, but with cat shit! | |
I suggest a donation drive to collect used cat litter and send it to
the southern border of the US to be used in lieu of expensive
concrete to build a berm barrier. It's sufficiently infused with cat
urine and feces to deter unwanted climbing/tunneling, and with
the superior clumping and odor
absorbing properties of modern
cat litters, it will hold its shape AND smell so as not to offend the
senses of the locals.
Trump wants a border barrier? Let's give him one that befits the
name of its creator, and won't break the bank: A giant pile of cat
shit.
The Gadsden Purchase
https://en.wikipedi...ki/Gadsden_Purchase
Made America greater, yet again. [8th of 7, Jan 05 2019]
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Annotation:
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// befits the name of its creator // |
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So, it should be named after James Gadsden, U.S. ambassador to Mexico in 1853 ? He's responsible for defining the current border. |
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If the U.S.A. under the current President is such a deeply unpleasant place, why would anyone want to cross the border anyway ? Where they are can't possibly be worse than where they'd end up, shirley ? |
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I referred to the barrier, not the border. |
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Surely it would be named after President Garfield? |
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Electing that blasted cartoon cat as president ? Only in America ... |
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You kind of mean a "cat shit/pee" steel wall thingy-ma-jig,
don't cha? |
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//why would anyone want to cross the border
anyway ?// Not even the universal chicken knows
the answer to that one. The idea is of course a winner. [+] |
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Well ... maybe to escape poverty, gang violence, crumbling urban infrastructure, pollution, ineffectual government, dire public healthcare and education, and rampant religious fundamentalism ? |
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But on the downside, Mexico is quite hot at some times of year; Canada may be a better choice. |
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Will Mexico be paying for this berm, in cat litter of
course? This would avoid America being shut down
for months or even years as Trump has threatened.
Can we start posting bags of used cat litter to the
Whitehouse to save America? ha |
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Actually, the Capitol building would be the correct address - it's their fault, after all. And all power to the Don, he's finally doing something that's been needed for half a century. Time to clean house, preferably with fire and the sword. |
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<Wonders if a "Crash and Berm" pun would work/> |
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Thinly disguised rant [-] |
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[+] On the plus side, it will also attract dogs. On the minus side, I'm told that dogs often eat it. Extra buns if there's video of Trump opening it. |
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Maybe he can stand on the top and urinate over onto the Mexican side. |
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It would be interesting to figure out how many centuries before any of the Southern US states would have a tourist industry, again. |
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I still maintain that a long line of tethered dirigibles is far superior to a wall. |
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// tethered dirigibles // |
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Dirigibles are steerable, powered LTA vehicles. They are tethered - more correctly, moored - only when they are close enough to the ground to be loaded, unloaded and maintained (or in emergencies). |
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You're thinking of observation balloons, or barrage balloons; tethered, unpowered, and unsteerable. |
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I remain convinced that this is good idea. |
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Tethered, as in "We'd very much like to keep this thing in approximately the same spot, without having to bother with running the engines up and down every time there's a light breeze". |
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Dirigibles, because the world needs a steady supply of relatively inexpensive government surplused LTA craft. And tactical. |
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So it's a dirigible - complete with powerplants, control surfaces, a cockpit, instrumentation and all the other bells and whistles - but it's just moored in one spot until it's time to sell it off ? |
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The thing about pressure envelopes is they're relatively cheap and expendable. |
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Won't be cheap. Then again, the Mexicans are paying, so no problem ... |
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Your dirigibles would be visible, risible and deridable. |
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<Outrageous fake Hispanic accent> |
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"Deereegeeeblees ? Hwe doan' need no steenkeeng deereegeeeblees !" |
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//Your dirigibles would be visible, risible and deridable.// That's what the 30mm's are for. |
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[8th] is right. It's only a dirigible if you can direct it. I'm pretty
sure the word was coined to distinguish zeppelinny things from
unsteerable, gone-with-the-wind balloons. Not everything that is
gonflable is dirigible. If you're just going to put it up, anchor it in
place and walk away, it's not dirigible. (A health-and-safety
fusspot might insist that you anchor it in place, *climb down*
and walk away). |
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Of course you can direct them ; just because a tank is parked doesn't make it a picnic table. |
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Tanks are typically of a somewhat inconvenient height for use as picnic tables. They are handy for fruit-picking, though, particularly apples. They have the advantage of dual mode operation. The first option is to stand on the tank and reach up to the fruit. The second is to fire the main armament, then walk round and pick the fruit up off the ground. |
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// If you're just going to put it up, anchor it in place and walk away, it's not dirigible. // |
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You can tether a dirigible like that; but to qualify as a dirigible, it must be capable of directed and controlled flight. |
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// (A health-and-safety fusspot might insist that you anchor it in place, *climb down* and walk away). // |
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We hate people like that. They take all the enjoyment out of death. |
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The idea is to use dirigibles, that are normally tethered (until moving about is called for) for economical station-keeping ; not tethered blimps mislabelled "dirigibles". |
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What about the tanks ? Are they tethered, or free-floating ? |
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What about anchored warships? |
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Very good as picnic tables, but awkward for collecting fruit. |
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100 million housecats in the US
1ft³/month/cat, clay litter
10.5 million ft. long border
= 100ft² of wall cross-section per annum. |
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1:7 wall height:width ratio (based on clay's angle-of-repose)
= an almost 6ft high wall, first year. |
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// 100 million housecats in the US // |
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99,999,999 housecats in the US ... |
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<Clicka-click of fresh round being chambered/> |
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// 1:7 wall height:width ratio (based on clay's angle-of-
repose) // |
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= an easily climbable and soft ridge |
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<Sound of expectant halfbakers settling into their seats to watch from upwind the unique spectacle of [notexactly] climbing hand over hand up a two metre high ridge of used cat litter/> |
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//a two metre high ridge of used cat litter// |
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That's just the first year. Three years later and it's four metres high ; five years after that six metres high, etc. |
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May we enquire as to what currently happens to all this used cat litter ? It has to go somewhere, along with its burden of cat wee and excrement ... but where is that ? |
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The only place we can envisage a gigantic pile of used cat litter going unnoticed is somewhere in the metropolitan New York area, where it probably counts as "urban improvement". |
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Re: The Gadsden Purchase + California, might be an
idea to return them back to Mexico and get a refund,
global warming -> bugger all water in those areas. |
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Assuming no one's lost the receipt? |
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