Literal CD "Tracks"

Sometimes the technological drive towards "compactness" and "practicality" skips over another ill-served need that we all have - that of the pointlessly beautiful.

Having been beguiled by [half]'s excellent "who needs a CD changer" idea, and, having also been a big fan of Scalectrix when I was younger, I found myself a-ponderin’ the following idea…

Why not take the CD player apart even further? Using Bluetooth technology (or something similar – I’m not too technically minded), the CD read-head could theoretically be separated from the amplifier and speakers altogether, and become an autonomous unit with no physical connection to the rest of the device whatsoever. And what would be the point of this? On its own, not much.

But – consider the humble CD. In reality it’s just a single line of data, curving round and around itself in ever-tighter circles. And it’s only in that spiraling shape for reasons of space and so it can be easily accessed by the restricted read-laser of the CD player.

Liberate the read-head from its physical bondage and you also liberate the CD from its restrictive prison of ever-decreasing circles. As the read-head becomes free to move in three dimensions, so does the line of data.

So imagine that line of data (your favourite song) stretched around your room as a kind of musical roller-coaster track. Place the autonomous read-head at the start of the track, let go, and let gravity send it along its wild, acoustic ride. The track twists and turns in time with the song – tunes which have a silent break in the middle could even have a daring, Evil Kneval-type jump incorporated into them - the player suddenly becomes just as dynamic as the music you're listening to.

Of course, the track itself would have to have the data on it recorded at varying densities, depending on the speed of the read-head “cart” as it encountered it – less data on fast slopes, but more data per inch as it climbs a peak before plunging into a blistering 45-degree guitar solo – but I’m sure there are computers who could work all the difficult actualities out before the (almost too complicated to imagine) pressing machines rolled into action.

I’m also open to any suggestions for the first song to be converted into this format – “Helter Skelter” by the Beatles was my (admittedly pretty poor) best shot, after willfully trying to ignore that Ronan Keating monstrosity that masquerades as music. "Life is a Roller Coaster" my arse.