h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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A standard 70 cl bottle, but made of thick chocolate - strong enough to survive average handling - filled with an alcoholic liqueur, e.g. creme de menthe, advocaaat.
Procedure:
1. Wake up on Christmas Morning.
2. Unwrap Liqueur Chocolate Bottle.
3. Consume same.
4. Die happy.
kind of baked...
http://store.candyw.../liquorbottles.html [xandram, Dec 08 2008]
[link]
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Hmmm. Something's wrong with your spellchecker. |
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Would you have a re-sealable top, or just bite it off? |
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What an odd idea. Of course not. |
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Hmm... maybe a self-resealing top of some sort might create a sealed-room-like mystery for the coroner - but only if you first invented self-removing chocolate stains and alcohol that auto-vanished from your bloodstream when its work was done. |
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Anyway I have a suspicion that, like an officious boy scout, your vomiting reflex might spoil step 4 by saving your life sourly. |
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I have had a gift of chocolates filled with pure Vodka brought to me from a friend in Finland. The small ones are really enough! |
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[8th] - how about some nano-chocolates that encapsulate strong drink, but which only release it on full meltification within the stomach? - that ought to fool the vomit reflex enough to allow for full indulgence in a sweet, tasty liquor-till-death Christmas scenario. |
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Or, for those who want to blot-out the entire season, but who might feel differently once the sun comes out, you could swap the booze for some coma-inducing solution; Pop the chocs on Christmas morning, and expect to come round again some time in mid-March once it's all over. |
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I'd like to have a lighter or something to melt some of the chocolate, have some of the melted chocolate fall into my mouth to act as a chaser, and have peppermint schnapps in the bottle to drink straight out of the bottle. (like a peppermint patty shot) |
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Also it would be good if it came fitted with a refrigerated sleve around the bottle to keep it from melting and getting chocolate on your fingers. It'd be fun at parties to pass this chocolate bottle around with a lighter. |
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I couldn't stomach 70cl of liqueur. I can barely stomach a glass of avocaat. Then again I doubt a chocolate bottle would be suitable for champagne - however you made it. |
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Dear American friends: liqueur is *not* a misspelling of liquor. |
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I did hear something once on how liqueur chocolates are made. It's not as simple as making a chocolate 'container' and injecting it with something alcoholic. As I remember the process was more along the lines of creating an alcohol/chocolate mixture which separated out during manufacturing to produce a chocolate shell filled with liquid. If this is right, I'm not sure it would scale up to something bottle-sized. |
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Mmmmmm. Perfect for chocolate beer. |
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// blot-out the entire season, but who might feel differently once the sun comes out// |
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If memory serves, Spring and Christmas are both peak seasons for suicide (probably because everyone else seems so damned cheerful). So, you might want to calendarise your coma differently, so that your waking coincides with other people being companionably miserable. |
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