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This probably doesn’t apply so much to the Americans, Australians and the other nationalities represented here, but we British at least, are food leeches. We assimilate foods from other nationalities into our diet without a second thought. Chinese food, Indian food, Italian food, Mexican food and all
the others are evident by walking down the average high street. But do we really know much about the cultures that give us these foods?
This is a restaurant where after being seated and placing your (considerably overpriced) meal, a person comes to your table. They will then spend the time until your food arrives, teaching you the language of the country whose food you are to consume. You learn at your own pace or at the pace of the slowest participant at your table. There is no requirement to participate, and if nobody feels like learning, you can politely ask the teacher to stop. Of course, this wouldn’t make much sense as you would have already been charged the extra prices to factor in the teacher’s wages. With a few repeat trips, soon you will be ordering food in its native tongue with no difficulty.
I envision this as being a series of themed restaurants; however it could be amalgamated into one big “World Restaurant” (linked).
World Restaurant
World_20Restaurant
[hidden truths, Jan 23 2006]
The Perfect English Breakfast
the_20perfect_20english_20breakfast
[reensure, Jan 23 2006]
[link]
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...and every single lecture will start with the words, "what you've ordered is an Anglicized version of the original dish, which tastes nothing like this..." + |
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being American, I still like this idea! |
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I'm glad that the option to stop the teaching is there, otherwise I can imagine my momo's going cold. |
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They could also teach the table manners of the relevant culture, e.g. eating with the right hand only in Arab countries. Sorry if that's a pathetic example, but i can't think of anything else. |
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Example 1: if it's a buffet, and you are Canadian, the proper behaviour model is to act like a child, sleep deprived, cranky, hungry and hopped up on Haribos.
Example 2: if there is a buffet and you are British, the proper behaviour to to stand meekly aside, looking pale and constipated, as colonial types barge in front of you. |
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This idea will greatly supplement the fortune cookies that try to teach you Chinese on the back. |
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And that's funny, I didn't know you guys had Mexican food over in England. America has all those food types too, but I suspect Australia only has kangaroo and wallabies. |
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This would be easy as to implement. I was seated across from a jazz musician in Paris once who pulled out a weekly magazine of jazz performances to recommend the best one. |
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Date one of the waitresses and doss down with her for a couple of years. You can live for free from her tips and food she nicks from the restaurant. Better still, date another waitress as well (Differing shifts you understand), thus you are able to thrill two birds with one bone. You gain a useful command of the lingo in half the time, then move on to your next conquest. For best results only frequent Michelin star restaurants. This method works if you survive being emotionally drained. Nobody has succeeded so far. |
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//America has all those food types too.// |
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Australia has the world's finest mix of ethnic taxi drivers. |
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// Example one: If it is a buffet and you are Canadian, the proper behaviour model is to act like a child//
Example three: If you are a Kiwi, the proper behaviour model is to arrive with a shopping bag under a rain coat, make repeated journeys to the buffet, go back to the table with plates laden with meat and shovel it into the bag hidden from view under the table. I kid you not. I have witnessed this practice on several occasions. ..... Well, nobody told them the food had to be consumed on the premises. |
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//I was seated across from a jazz musician in Paris once who pulled out a weekly magazine of jazz performances to recommend the best one.//
Was it a jazz mag, then? |
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All very well until you attempt to leave your by-now-cold midia meechoog on the table to visit the bathroom but are prevented by a burly waiter because you don't know the Armenian for 'I need a leak'. |
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// you don't know the Armenian for 'I need a leak'.//
There's a mispronounced Vichyssoise gag in there somewhere. |
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