Linear accelerated instant teapot

OK, so considerable effort has recently been devoted to creating a faster kettle. I've done my best to help but, frankly, it seems as though you're all trying to solve the wrong problem.

I did suggest a boil-and-infuse-on-demand system, but this clearly didn't appeal. So. An alternative suggestion.

The MaxCo Linear Accelerated Instant Teapot (lovingly crafted from the finest materials) consists of:

(1) One neodymium teapot, appropriately magnetized
(2) One Squirt-O-Matic water nozzle assembly (with raincape)
(3) 1km of track
(4) Computer interface and timing card
(5) A two-ounce starter pack of tealeaves.
(6) Protective body armour.

To operate, simply place the tealeaves in the teapot, place the teapot in position at the far end of the track, and return home. Prime the Squirt-O-Matic, press the BREW button, and wait.

After approximately 5 seconds, the teapot will arrive at a speed of 400m/s, to be met by a perfectly-timed, perfectly-aimed slug of water from the Squirt-O-Matic gun. Once you have stopped admiring the impressive noise of the water/teapot collision, you will note that both teapot and water have been brought to a perfect standstill, and that the water is at the perfect temperature for a nice brew.