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Library Alarm Decibel Meter

 Quiet Cooperation Training Mechanism
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2) 		  [vote for,
against]

Put decibel meters in the public library and attach alarm bells that are triggered when the noise goes above a certain level. The bells should be loud enough to make communication impossible and could be sound-designed for this purpose. Instead of piercing bells or sirens the alarms could be noise cancelers with lots of random activity in just the vocal range. This might work better in schools.
—JesusHChrist, Jul 17 2005

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       You really think this a good idea?
—bristolz, Jul 17 2005
   

       You could connect it to the sprinkler system for added confusion.
—wagster, Jul 17 2005
   

       And it releases 12 random dogs into the library...
—Minimal, Jul 18 2005
   

       How are these dogs random? Are they chosen at random from examples of every known breed which the library keep in a storage room or is the library assigned 12 random dogs from a large pool of dogs so that every time you contravene noise ordinances at your local library it's always the same 12 dogs that come and savage you?
—hippo, Jul 18 2005
   

       I dunno, [hip], I hadn't really thought it through, I think 12 different breeds picked at random would cause the most chaotic effect. The dogs could be selected using the Dewidecimal system.
—Minimal, Jul 18 2005
   

       Very good! Most louder people do not notice their own noisyness, but might if it is played back to them.
—loonquawl, Apr 03 2009
   

       Plus random felines to hiss and scratch ?
—popbottle, Jan 26 2016
   

       No.   

       #include <EOSSACR.H>
—8th of 7, Jan 26 2016
   

       This seems rather draconian, and also a little all-or- nothing.   

       Sound travels less well as air density is reduced. Therefore, all that's needed is a massive air pump and a hermetically sealed library. Internal air pressure could then be adjusted to keep the perceived noise below some pre-set threshold.   

       In the library, no-one can hear you scream.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 26 2016
   

       A fire alarm that works by preemptively burning down the house?
—Voice, Jan 28 2016
   
      
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