h a l f b a k e r yFree set of rusty screwdrivers if you order now.
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Any device fitted with the lemming feature will simply walk off your desk when obsolete, find the nearest body of water, and fling itself into it.
For the owner of the device, a note is left in the dust shadow, explaining the reason it has been obsoleted and recommending a replacement.
Lemming myth
https://www.adfg.al...icle&articles_id=56
[xenzag, Mar 11 2023]
[link]
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Greenpeace is going to want a word with you. [+] |
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Rather than implementing this on a per-object basis, make it part of the desk. The desk surface could be covered in tiny hair-like actuators (can't remember their technical name) and a pressure / image sensor system to monitor the objects placed on the desk. After a preset time (depending on different classes of objects) the vibrating actuators walk the object to the edge of the desk where it falls off into the moat system. |
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What supplies the motive power? |
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I wonder whether we could mess with the brain chemistry of ants enough to make them do the lifting here. |
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An average bread machine weighs what, around 7.5 kg? An average ant, weighs maybe 0.01 grams? Each ant can carry roughly 50 times its body weight, so around 0.5 grams. So it would take around 15,000 ants to carry away my old, broken bread machine? That's a lot of ants... And I would love to see this in action, especially if they take the crumbs with them. |
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//What supplies the motive power?// |
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Deep seated vested industry interests in forced obsolescence? |
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Euphemistically referred to as planned obsolescence by PR departments. |
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Plenty of money in repeat sales from that and the conversion rate for money to power is reasonably substantial I hear, should provide enough motive power for this ;p |
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The best part of this is that it's based on a complete myth, invented by none other than Walt Disney pictures - (that lemmings jump off cliffs into water in an act of self destruction) Believe this and you'll believe in talking snakes and feeding 5,000 people with a sardine and a single sliced loaf. (see link - suckers) |
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Anything considered outdated will be pushed off a cliff by Disney, up to and including Disney itself. |
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I suspect this is already partly baked - my (previous) work-supplied smartphone was so smooth and shiny that it would throw itself onto the floor even when carefully placed on a flat surface... |
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That's just attention seeking. You can deal with that by putting it in an unattractive rubber case. See how it likes that. |
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A great perk for dieters too. Snack food would come with the device already implanted, and vanish from sight (and the menu) when your back is turned. [+] |
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