h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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Just like "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" but in keeping with the current times, all the girls will be summoned to a "cake and ice cream" party at 3pm. The girls chat among themselves, wondering about the fact that there is no cake or ice cream to be seen. The bubbly ones assert that the managers must
be trying to keep the ice cream *extra cold*! When all the girls are assembled, the VP of Human Resources greets them briefly and begins a quick explanation of company finances, which are not looking good. The girls then hear the announcement that the company no longer requires their presence, and they are given little commemorative boxes in which they can collect their mementoes before they are escorted from the building.
A career counselor gives them a free five-minute consultation as part of their "Repurposing" and administers an aptitude test, the results of which are: day care provider, housewife, feng shui consultant or beautician.
The purpose of LOYDFW Day is to address the excessively high levels of self-esteem in young girls and to show them at an early age that pursuing a career is not only futile but also bad for their mental health.
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A lovely idea. The girls can then line their commemorative boxes with fabric cut from a female relative's favorite business suit, and place the boxes in their hope chests. |
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Don't let them forget to end the day right: spending whatever money they have left at the local watering hole. |
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Why stop with the girls? Leaving the boys out of this windfall of realism is sheer discrimination. Gotta toughen up the guys to take those pink slips like a man. You could add a brief post-employment orientation course in hunting and gathering (a.k.a. "dumpster-diving" in an urban setting) and include a unit on Why It's Shameful and Unmanly to Sue Your Former Employer for Anything. |
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No, [whatsbruin], for that extra smack of realism, have expendible boys and girls there conspicuously segregated. The cake can be distributed at a ratio of 4 slices for the girls, and 5 slices for the boys. |
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