h a l f b a k e r yI think, therefore I am thinking.
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Many if not most non ride-on lawnmowers have air-cooled gasoline-fuelled engines, typically a single cylinder four stroke.
Air-cooled engines need to be warmed thoroughly before they develop full power output. On air-cooled aviation engines, this is done by monitoring the oil temperature.
BorgCo
engineers are developing a simple Go/No go indicator using a bimetallic strip which replaces the oil filler plug/dipstick and reveals a green telltale when operating temperature is reached.
This reduces stalling and engine wear.
All that is then required is to train the user not to start mowing the lawn until the green button shows. This is achieved through a comprehensive programme of frequent vicious beatings, electric shocks, sleep deprivation, solitary confinement in a restricted space, waterboarding and verbal abuse (harsh but necessary; it eventually worked when explaining about oiling hedgecutters before and after use).
I Know What I Like...
https://www.youtube...watch?v=y1tFQMjc-IE (Thanks [Ian] - that's such a great album... [normzone, May 19 2015]
[link]
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So it's come to this. A once proud hegemonizing
swarm, reduced to lawnmower optimisation. |
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Oh, wait. Never Mind. Just read the last sentence. [+] |
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We prefer to view it as "no detail too small". From a gigantic
spaceborne planet-killing weapons array down to
supersophisticated nanotech, there is very little we cannot
scrutinise and improve in some way. |
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Besides, these things are important. |
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I hear that the Collective is working on a radical new
defence-capable fly-by-wire unmanned tea cosy. |
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Be afraid. Be very afraid ... |
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Just make your piston tolerances to F1 standards, then the
whole engine will be effectively seized until you pre-heat it
to operating temperature, precluding any non-optimum
mowing. |
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Goats can be very attractive, but I doubt they'd
distract [8th] from his mission to improve the
lawnmower. And in any case, other posts suggest
that he's already discovered women. |
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//A once proud hegemonizing swarm, reduced to
lawnmower optimisation. |
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(sighs...it's come to this...slippery slope to comfy
slippers and hot milk...) |
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