h a l f b a k e r yThis is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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The rules of Lawnmower Tennis are quite simple: when
the
game starts two grounds-men (or women) begin mowing
the
lawns on either side of the net.
The players must therefore cope with their constant
movement backwards and forwards at a snail's pace, the
noisy petrol driver mowers drowning
out the usual
irritating animal grunts and whining to the umpire.
Crashing into either the mower or its operator is an
automatic game looser.
[link]
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// Crashing into either the mower or its operator is an automatic game looser.// |
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Well, a limb looser under certain circumstances but, given an enclosed cockpit for the groundskeeper, why not otherwise just play through ? |
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You are quite strange, [xenzag]. |
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Would hitting the ball towards your opponent's mower
in the hopes that your opponent would collide and be
summarily mulched be deemed an error? |
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Which side is which mower on ? |
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Each mower is on either side. Ha - this is
entertaining. |
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But the idea says "two grounds-men (or women) start mowing the lawns on either side..." |
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Am I missing a subtle grammatical difference between "each" and "either"? |
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I think [xenzag] meant "two grounds-men (or women) start mowing the lawns, one on each side..." rather than "two grounds-men (or women) start mowing the lawns on either side..." which is open to misinterpretation. |
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I knew someone would explain it to me. Ha -
thanks. |
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No, I meant is the lawn mower on your side on your side ? |
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.....as opposed to being on the underside? |
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I first misread the title as "Lawnmower Tetris", which would be interesting too |
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Apparently this is a doubles match where each partner is
operating a mower on the opposite side of the net, serving
as a moving obstacle and occasionally, a truncator. |
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Why is this not an Olympic event? |
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A couple of ride-on lawnmowers roaming the pitch would make football (soccer) more interesting, or at least, slightly less uninteresting. |
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// Each mower is on either side. // |
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Yes, but it could still be on the other side even if it is on your side. |
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There could be two autonomous lawnmowers, each programmed to intentionally hinder, obstruct, or indeed injure the player on whos side of the playing area they are located. |
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Thus a lawnmower could be both on your side and your opponents side simultaneously. |
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Surely the lawnmowers should be on their own side. Then, with a suitably complicated scoring system, the tennis match could be won by either of the human tennis players, or by the team of lawnmowers? |
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Or if you let the QI elves do the scoring, the audience... |
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I'm thinking of introducing goats (wearing
protective padded coverings, but nevertheless very
hungry to graze randomly. |
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How do you propose to stop the goats eating the net, the player's towels, the umpire's chair, or the tennis balls ? Goats are notoriously omnivorous. |
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Electricity is a good deterrent. |
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Also, how many lawns are there on either side of the net? |
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Well if I can do yoga with goats, you can do tennis with
them frolicking about too, I suppose. |
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What is it with the word 'looser' on the interweb? Do
people need to tighten up their spelling? Does 'loser'
not exist in spell checking? |
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Not quite as fun as a giant windmill in the middle,
but close. |
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