Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Laughing pen for writing funny stuff...

crying pen for writing sad stuff, pen that says "Hmm, that's very interesting" for scientific stuff etc.
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A set of pens that talk while you use them, the pressure of pen to paper activating the sampled voice that plays through a little speaker on a plastic emji's mouth located at the top, shaped to make clear what it does. So sad emoji for sad stuff, happy for positive stuff, laughing for funny stuff, thoughtful for... you get it.

So if you're trying to write something of a particular nature, the pen encourages you.

doctorremulac3, Nov 23 2020

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       I like pens that make sounds and have posted some on hb, but imagines drowning it to shut it up. However, it's inventive so have this crumb. [+]
xenzag, Nov 23 2020
  

       Mmm, delicious! Nummy num, me likey crumb! (huddles in a dark corner to pet his precious pet crumb) "I will call you, Oliver Crumbwell and you will be my friend. I will hug you and squeeze you and pet you and kiss you." (tries to kiss it, accidentally eats it) "Hu? Oh duck!".   

       But seriously, thanks for the Bun Xen. :)
doctorremulac3, Nov 23 2020
  

       //Maybe selectable by side buttons or a clicker on the top?//   

       Yes, great idea, I'm glad I thought of it.   

       But semi seriously, people might buy a pen that urged encouragement to kids. Just says "Great job!" after every sentence. "That's terrific!" etc.   

       Now THAT might actually be useful. To give kids a sense of self entitlement that they didn't earn, but useful anyway.   

       Even better if it had an evil personality like that doll in Twilight Zone. "Your teacher is plotting against you. Use me to stab him in the back of the head. Tee-hee!".
doctorremulac3, Nov 23 2020
  

       Based on exposure to Microsoft's "Clippy" and actual human beings I'm not sure it works for me to have any kind of commentary when I'm in the process of writing. If I'm at work and someone else is watching over my shoulder, even whispering sweet words of encouragement, it puts me off. Then there's the selection problim, what if I don't quite know right away whether I'm going to write something pen-appropriate? And by the time I've spend the cognitive capital on selecting the right pen, chances are the moment will have passed, and the keen and witty insight I just had into the human condition is now lost forever. I'd rather a decent pencil thankyou.
zen_tom, Nov 23 2020
  

       And for HB writing, a pen that rolls its eyes and scoffs.
pertinax, Nov 23 2020
  

       Teens might even pick one up a few times a year, and write with them. If they can remember how to write, that is.
blissmiss, Nov 27 2020
  

       I think I would need [pertinax]'s option. But who would record a scathing, sarcastic laugh to signify "Really, you going write that"?
wjt, Nov 28 2020
  

       YES!
blissmiss, Nov 28 2020
  

       You know, this, like all my posts here are a "just kidding" thing, but a pen that encourages little kids, sensing that the writing has stopped because the child is reviewing their work might be a cute stocking stuffer. The character at the top would be a smiling, friendly .... whoa, just occurred to me...   

       cartoon character that teaches kids how to write and make art. Alternates between spelling and drawing fun stuff. So about the time the kid has learned enough "OK! You wrote the word DOG, very good! Now let's draw a dog!" they'd watch the show and follow along ... OK, and you could have the pen be synced with the show through a bluetooth adapter!   

       The character's name is "Mr Squiggles!" The show is called "Squiggles 'n Giggles". It teaches kids how to spell, do basic math and breaks up the monotony with art.
doctorremulac3, Nov 28 2020
  

       I was quite intrigued by the idea, but am piss poor, per usual, and can't financially back it at the present time. But maybe some other wealthy baker would be compelled to be a partner or silent banker.
blissmiss, Nov 28 2020
  

       Hmm. The friendly teaching pen does seem like it should be done.
doctorremulac3, Nov 29 2020
  
      
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