h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Finally the truth can be told, that all those hints have not gone unnoticed was it the "large scale research" or just the idea of hadron collider seemed a bit fishy.
Reverse-engineered from the piscine-collider found in the Roswell UFO, the story of the Large Halibut Collider, shadow project to that
boring old particle collider can finally be told.
Obviously "scale" points the way to the truth and did not Dr King himself give part of the game away when he said "I have a Bream" which was the real reason for his assassination, under the cover of being a simple Hake-crime.
Spawned in the cold war, the CIA operated a clandestine fish-slapping service as a Gobytween with other research agencies with the code name "John Doe-ry" under the guidance of Prof. Mummichog and his glamorous research assistant,Olive Flounder..the cover was nearly blown in the 1960's by a congressman who Smelt a rat in DOD figures concealing the research funding..
I tell you, you Betta believe it...but I won't Carp on about it..
Meanwhile on the other side of the Atlantic, the UK, under the code name "BIGSCALE POMFRE", with tighter budgetary constraints were working on a device with two stickelbacks in a jam-jar, under the guidance of Magnus Pike..
Meanwhile in China, the government were experimenting with two (dead) shrimps in a vice, in a project codenamed by NATO"YELLOWMARGIN TRIGGERFISH". Seeking either cold fusion, or a quick way way to make shrimp paste, the committee was overseen by Dr Morwong and his not at all glamorous male assistant Tilapia.
Also meanwhile, following up some clues left by the ancients in the Dead Sea Krills, the noted ex-Nazi mystic Luderick Medaka was getting closer to the cod particle (credit UnaBubba).
it was the "I am the fisher of men" comment that gave away the eventual secret batter recipe that Pontius Pilot(fish) was so concerned to suppress at any cost...and it was a misreading of the original Hebrew script that misled Leonardo da Vinci on the quantity of flour to milk and so the Da Vinci Cod conundrum came to be..
It also provides a more coherent reason for gulf war. It was to provide cover for those looking for the cuneiform tablets describing shaman fish collision techniques in ancient Mesopotamia (possible Enki connection?)..which would explain why the US contractor Halibut(on) had so many people on the ground.
don't blame me, it's all wikipedia's fault
http://en.wikipedia...f_common_fish_names [not_morrison_rm, May 14 2012]
Magnus Pike
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_Pyke Gone but definitely unforgettable [not_morrison_rm, May 14 2012]
Tenpounder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenpounder ..which is predictably, a fish [not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012]
Barramundi
http://www.google.c...AQ&biw=1780&bih=925 [UnaBubba, May 15 2012]
Scophthalmus rhombus, they're brill !...
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Brill_%28fish%29 [not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012]
Plaice names in Poland..
http://en.wikipedia...and_towns_in_Poland [not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gramsh
[not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puk%C3%AB
[not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballsh
[not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]
Moron, Mongolia
http://mapru.com/en/cat105/27146-.html [not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]
Desolation Sound, B.C.
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Desolation_Sound How did we get onto place names again? [AusCan531, May 18 2012]
Iceland, the supermarket
http://www.iceland.co.uk/ ..their Ham & Mushroom Pizza ain't too bad for a quid [not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012]
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A paraphyletic taxon monophyletic taxon collider.
[+] |
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This is all just a red herring ... |
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//paraphyletic taxon monophyletic taxon // Cod Latin? |
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Now "Yellowmargin triggerfish" that's a bugger to fit in there.. |
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It's not clear what porpoise this will serve
you plan to take a particle accelerator and
fillet with fish ? |
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Whatever it's for, it puts the fear of cod into me. |
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No doubt some offshoot technology will be of use to
sturgeons, but I think they really just want to trout the
value of pure scientific research. |
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Since colliders rely on very high vacuum, the
designers will have to give special
consideration to seals
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Looking for The Cod Particle, I presume. |
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>you plan to take a particle accelerator and fillet with fish |
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That does sound the weirdest ever McDonalds order "Fillet of Fish and particle accelerator..is that to go?" |
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it's knackering adding all the extra writing in...and I still haven't managed to fit in the "Triplefin blenny" yet.. |
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Can I borrow your barrow, Monday? I'll slip you that
sick squid I owe you, when I pick it up. |
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>I'll slip you that sick squid I owe you, when I pick it up. |
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Ahh, the old "lend me a Tenpounder (see link) and I'll buy you a drink" approach. I warn you, that barrow, it's turbot-charged. |
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Amphiprioninae Pomacentridae |
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(sorry, its late and I'm tired and thats the best that I can do) |
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That's ok, sometimes it's better not to flounder around, I might go so far as to say it was Scophthalmus rhombus! |
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Grind the fish's brain up into a small enough pulp, add some Jell-O into a ring, and you could feed it into the Large Neuron Colloider. |
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Salmon Rushdie should have a thing or two to say about this! |
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>Large Neuron Colloider.
painful! |
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My god...the US contractor Halibut(on), so that explains the gulf war, Saddam possibly stumbling upon.. |
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(incorporated into main text/rant/grounds for committal to Arkham asylum/columnist for the Daily Telegraph application [delete as applicable]) |
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Salmon Rushdie can take an' shove 'is views on this
idea. |
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Hmm, I've always had my doubts about him.. |
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>can take an' shove 'is views on this |
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Okay, I give up, no more fish name stuff... |
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Except of course for Clupea harengus (Sild) Vicious and his contribution to "Never mind the Pollachius pollachius's (Pollack/s)"..he was a Limanda limanda (Dab) hand with the Micropterus (Bass) guitar... |
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Ok, really finished..honest guv. |
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><))))))}°/_ ..... .. ><"°> |
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You are unhappy with the quality of your gorilla gelato?! |
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Ask him if he knows the whereabouts of the
steamroller of the shopkeeper's grandmother
(use 'du', 'de la' or 'des' as appropriate. Write
on both sides of the paper). |
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[bigsleep], es du gnostem un deca-deciquatrum de la
tragula mobilus
hydrovaporicum de la avia das du cauponarius rhinoceros? |
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//non satis gelata et apes |
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or possibly unhappy with the iced bees, as we all must have bee-n at some point in out lives. |
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nrm co. customer services..."If you wish to speak to a customer adviser please press F2, if you wish to insert rubber ducks press F3, if you wish to put your underpants on your head press F4, to hear these options again press F5" |
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After which we're probably headed for Piltdown,
man! |
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//congressman who Smelt a rat in DOD figures |
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repetition of Smelt..anyway I'm onto names of rocks, but that is a bit schist.. |
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So I'm toying with east European plaice names..as I sit here.. maybe I'm Góra have a coffee in Star (bucks)achowice, but those cups are little Tychy for the price. |
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You're beginning to flounder, aren't you? |
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He's just playing out of tuna. |
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Just taking a brief moray into surreality. |
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I think we all eel like doing that sometimes. |
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F6 is "To stop the voices in your head take off the headphones" |
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Come on, if it were that easy, I would have tought of it
yea-- wait, hang on. |
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We now return to the regularly scheduled fish puns. |
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Shant! Small towns in East Europe it is...I mean if you eat 100 Gramsh of printer toner you're sure to Pukë and I ain't talking Ballsh..(see respective links) |
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Piscine names are so May 14th.. |
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Hey, poster, leave that ab alone. |
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..and that's not even including Moron, in Mongolia. See link. |
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Quite tempted to go there, I might fit in. |
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not to mention Inaccessible Island, or Cape Disappointment... |
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Inaccessible Island... sounds like a challenge. |
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//because the Dutch crew who landed were not able to get further inland than the beach, as they were blocked by 1000-foot high cliffs. |
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Does tend to put a damper on the old exploratory tendencies. |
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I just like places given very honest names by their finders..unlike Greenland for example. Or Nylstroom...they really could have done with GPS.. |
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Desolation Sound in British Columbia [link] is actually very beautiful despite the name given to it by Captain Vancouver. |
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Greenland was green when it was named, about 850
years ago. It got a lot whiter by about 1400, as
everything cooled down. |
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//whiter by about 1400, as everything cooled down.
Surely everything goes darker as it cools? Otherwise pyrometers wouldn't work.. |
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Iceland...what's wrong with visitors from a supermarket? |
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um, it's not large enough to house them all? |
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Greenland was home to a fairly large community of
cattle herders, who farmed the ice-free coastal
strip, until the early onset of the Little Ice Age, I
think you'll find. |
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Many of them moved to Greenland after the
ecological damage done by their herds, to the
relatively ice-free but fragile soils of Iceland, made
it less viable to herd cattle there. Most of them
moved on from Greenland, with some of them
settling on the northeastern coast of the
Americas, but competition from the natives made
it too hard to maintain their settlements. |
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Jared Diamond examines it in Collapse, from
memory. |
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//Jared Diamond examines it in Collapse, from memory |
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I can't remember what I ate yesterday for lunch and yet Jared can remember the Little Ice age..monkey glands.. |
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Doh! I hit delete instead of edit on my previous anno. |
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Turns out Iceland was not named to deter invaders but Greenland was named to attract colonists: |
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That's what I've read in multiple books. |
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Well its not true until you've read it on the Internet. |
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Necessary but not sufficient. |
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Oguz, I'm (Ag)dam Shir(van) some internet facts are Saatly Shaki, if not 100% (Ordu)bad. |
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(place names c/o Azerbaijan) |
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