h a l f b a k e r ycarpe demi
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
In the time-honoured recognition that the pedestrian always comes first, herein will be proposed a system to make roads wholely the dominion of pedestrians.
For a start, every crosswalk button would in fact show photographs of landmarks -- statues, markets, street musicians, etc -- standing somewhere
across the street, up and down a .5 - 1 km row of street-facing landmarks. These photographs of landmarks would be automatically updated by a builtin camera, naturally.
Should the pedestrian press the image of a girl standing on a corner with large breasts (not together exactly), a series of lights, constantly blinking yellow up and down the street, would then coordinate to turn red in precisely the right sequence so that the pedestrian can walk diagonally -- that is, directly -- across stopped traffic and to his or her destination most expediently.
Would this manage to enrage salty, a self-loving, machine propelling life form? Does a dog have sex at midnight? Ask yourself that.
[link]
|
| |
// the pedestrian always comes first, // |
|
| |
Actually, our preferred targets are cyclists, then cats, then squirrels. The latter two score highly, because they're small, fast vermin - but in terms of cleansing the environment - particularly roads - of vermin, cyclists need to be the first to go. |
|
| |
Pedestrians are fairly low down the scoring system. |
|
| |
// Does a dog have sex at midnight? // |
|
| |
What if the dog did nothing in the night-time ... ? |
|
| |
Oddly enough, it's the virgins who make the most noise at night. |
|
| |
Personally, I don't like pressing the button, I cross* with the vehicles green, in the parallel flow. |
|
| |
*always cautiously and giving way to free turn vehicles of course.
//Does a dog have sex at midnight?// Given the opportunity and capability, yes. Otherwise it would be an abhorrence against nature. |
|
| |
I don't understand. Why would the girls large breasts not be together exactly? |
|
| |
//girl standing on a corner with large breasts//
Ah, I wondered why a corner would have large
breasts... |
|
| |
// Why would the girls large breasts not be together exactly? // |
|
| |
If you have to ask, you're too young to know ... |
|
| |
There are these special private clubs for gentlemen, you see ... |
|
| |