h a l f b a k e r ycarpe demi
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In the time-honoured recognition that the pedestrian always comes first, herein will be proposed a system to make roads wholely the dominion of pedestrians.
For a start, every crosswalk button would in fact show photographs of landmarks -- statues, markets, street musicians, etc -- standing somewhere
across the street, up and down a .5 - 1 km row of street-facing landmarks. These photographs of landmarks would be automatically updated by a builtin camera, naturally.
Should the pedestrian press the image of a girl standing on a corner with large breasts (not together exactly), a series of lights, constantly blinking yellow up and down the street, would then coordinate to turn red in precisely the right sequence so that the pedestrian can walk diagonally -- that is, directly -- across stopped traffic and to his or her destination most expediently.
Would this manage to enrage salty, a self-loving, machine propelling life form? Does a dog have sex at midnight? Ask yourself that.
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// the pedestrian always comes first, // |
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Actually, our preferred targets are cyclists, then cats, then squirrels. The latter two score highly, because they're small, fast vermin - but in terms of cleansing the environment - particularly roads - of vermin, cyclists need to be the first to go. |
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Pedestrians are fairly low down the scoring system. |
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// Does a dog have sex at midnight? // |
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What if the dog did nothing in the night-time ... ? |
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Oddly enough, it's the virgins who make the most noise at night. |
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Personally, I don't like pressing the button, I cross* with the vehicles green, in the parallel flow. |
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*always cautiously and giving way to free turn vehicles of course.
//Does a dog have sex at midnight?// Given the opportunity and capability, yes. Otherwise it would be an abhorrence against nature. |
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I don't understand. Why would the girls large breasts not be together exactly? |
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//girl standing on a corner with large breasts//
Ah, I wondered why a corner would have large
breasts... |
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// Why would the girls large breasts not be together exactly? // |
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If you have to ask, you're too young to know ... |
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There are these special private clubs for gentlemen, you see ... |
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