h a l f b a k e r yI think, therefore I am thinking.
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Kopi Luwak is one of the most expensive coffees in the
world. It is produced, of course, by feeding coffee berries
to civets, and collecting the beans after they've been
through.
Now, I am reasonably certain that this process was not
arrived at by a process of systematic experimentation.
I
doubt very much that "civet" was number 38 on someone's
list of "Animals I have tried feeding coffee berries to in
order to produce a flavoursome coffee."
Instead, it seems more likely that civets are one of very
few animals which (a) will eat coffee berries (b) will not
chew them up and break the beans (c) occur naturally in
coffee-producing areas and (d) are abundant and
domesticatable.
This, in turn, strongly suggests that there is nothing
particularly unique about the civet gastrointestinal tract
when it comes to flavouring coffee beans. In all
likelihood, any omnivorous mammal's gut will achieve
essentially the same result.
On a different and (at first sight) unrelated topic,
unemployment in Britain is still running at around 8%.
These 8% of people are, in many cases, underqualified and
unskilled. They are also, by and large, omnivores.
Maxwell Towers Coffee (we had legal issues with some of
our proposed brand names) is, therefore, proud to
announce the imminent launch of its Kopi Manusia range of
coffee beans, available roasted or in medium and fine
grinds.
Good to the last drop!
http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Maxwell_House
Origin of slogan, seems appropriate [csea, Oct 17 2012]
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Since I'm not a coffee drinker, [+]. Please market your
product with humorously misleading packaging. |
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//market your product with humorously misleading
packaging// |
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Our advertisements feature a happy, smiling and
clearly well-to-do young couple and their two
children. What could be misleading about that? |
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"Maxwell Towers: good to the last plop!" |
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yeah, their lawyers are gonna love you. |
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//Lack of evidence is not necessarily evidence of
lack.// Well, I must say that the HB is the last place
I expected to find pedantry. However, there is
definitely an absence of lack of non-evidence that
the gastrointestinal tracts of other, non-civet
omnivores does not fail to be unincapable of
achieving the desired flavour. |
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I'm gonna go, out on a limb here, ruminating that civets spray their product with their unique scent glands. |
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Nope. Animals don't generally spray their poop with
scent. |
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//that's so wrong// Well, it's early: I'm not worth anything 'til I've made my first cup of the day. |
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Following the idea to its logical conclusion, it
is apparent that it is possible by this method
to "make your own" intestinally-processed
coffee, from berry to cup, without leaving the
comfort of your own home (if any). |
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Volunteers are sought for proof-of-concept. |
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//I'm not worth anything 'til I've made my first cup of
the day.// |
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It occurs to me that you have a bootstrapping
problem here. |
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//underqualified and unskilled [...] omnivores// |
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yeah... and what ELSE can you get them to eat? Something which easily crosses the excrement/brain barrier (if any)? |
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That this should remain strictly a civit doodie is grounds for dismal. |
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Ahh... Maxwell Towers. Good to the last dropping! |
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// and what ELSE can you get them to eat?
Something which easily crosses the
excrement/brain barrier (if any)? // |
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A lot of them swallowed the idea of Tony
Blair as Prime Minister … |
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Well! I was going to get all Indonesian-pedantic and point out that the name should be Kopi Orang, but I looked up 'manusia' and find that is not only (also) correct, but more likely to be misleading. Good one, [MaxB]. |
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(I'd also like to brag about the fact that I have seen a luwak, in the wild. Well, not actually in the wild, since somebody had just lassoed it and dragged it into the roadside café, but we were way up in the mountains of Sumatra, it was after midnight and it was raining like hell.) |
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May I suggest sending the coffee berries through with flavorful foods? I'd sign up to produce all the truffle-flavored coffee beans you want ... either kind of truffle. |
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//either kind of truffle.// Avoid man-truffles. |
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//I was going to get all Indonesian-pedantic...// |
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As Sturton always used to say, when travelling in
those parts, "Penjaga kambing bertele-tele jarang
tidur pada kacang." There's a message there for all
of us (as opposed to Thailand, where there's a
massage there for all of us.) |
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