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Koala rehab
Getting koalas off the green and reintroducing them to society. | |
One of the things that sets humans apart from other animals
aside from our intelligence is our opposable thumbs that
give
us our dexterity. Koalas have not one thumb but two
thumbs.
The advantage of having two thumbs is that it helps them
hold
onto branches in the trees where they live.
which is just
as
well because their food, gum leaves, are highly toxic and
they
damn well need to hold on because they are so stoned
most
of the time that if they only had one thumb they wouldn't
even be able to stay up in the trees long enough for a
tourist
to take a picture of them. Koalas could be highly
intelligent,
but since they sleep about 80% of their lives there is no way
of finding out. A gum leaf substitute is in order, maybe a
particular species of gum that has had its toxicity reduced
but is still palatable for the picky koalas. I suggest that
once
Koalas are straightened out they are put to work in sweat
shops,
with their two thumbs they should be able to do twice as
much work as humans, they would also be great at writing
txt
messages.
More Koala "Facts"
http://www.giftlog....ures/koala_fact.htm
[saker, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Annotation:
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Feeding them something more nutritious will only end up turning them into giants. So unless you want a replacement for the giant panda or maybe Michael Jordan, please leave well alone. |
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Hmm giant super txt messaging koalas, surely they will be
the end of us all. |
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How'd this get four buns? |
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where would they live? Koala-lampur? |
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I could have swore the title said Koala Kebab |
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It must be lunchtime already.. |
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mccheesekoala with fries mmmmm |
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Is there a gum leaf patch? |
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would that make their offspring Gum Patch Kids? |
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//One of the things that sets humans apart from other animals aside from our intelligence // Is that praise or insult? |
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//...and reintroducing them to society"// |
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REintroducing them? So you mean, they used to be among us, but decided to move to a greener, healthier environment instead of our polluted, overpopulated, corrupted cities to sleep 80% of their lives? I guess that's what sets them apart from us. They are way smarter |
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They have been waiting, dormant, untill the day every
man woman and child has a mobile phone, then they shall
awake and begin their plan to take over the world via txt
message, one phone at a time. |
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According to the <link>, "Eucalyptus foliage is very fibrous and low in nutrition, and to most animals are extremely poisonous. Koalas are not drugged out on gum leaves. Koala's digestive system is especially adapted to detoxify the poisonous chemicals in the leaves." |
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So, like [jonthegeologist] said, leave 'em alone. We're already killing them and their habitat. |
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I think i read it too fast.
Thought it said "KOALA KEBAB". |
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Do Koalas taste like Eucalyptus also? |
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uhhhh... if they've been eating gum leaves for thousands of years, and have managed to make it this far, why do we feel the need to change that? |
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last time I was in Aussie, my pals said that those "adorable" little Koalas all stunk like hell, (as a result of their diet). Furthermore, if scared, their nice little claws can harm a person. blueswag |
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Sort of koala de-tox centre eh? |
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