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Knocking door

 No need for neighborhood hooligans
  (+8, -2)
(+8, -2) 		  [vote for,
against]

"Hey dad, what're you doing?"

"Don't pester me Scott, I'm making an Evil knocking door."

"Uhhh, What happened to taking over the world?"

"I got into real estate instead. I'm going to install these on all my homes. See, here above the door knob, these flywheels are weighted off center so that when the door opens or closes they turn, and that actuates the crank shaft, which winds this spring. When the spring is fully wound, it clicks into place, starting this timer, and after two hours, the timer goes off, and the spring powers this swinging drumstick, which knocks on the door. Then whoever's home thinks there's someone at the door, and comes to see, but there's nobody."

"well like, won't they see all this stuff?"

"Scott you moron, it's all inside these hollow channels on the door! When I've gotten it all together, I just put on a false front, and paint it over. Then it looks like a perfectly normal door."

"But you made it too big, it won't all fit."

"Damn! Well, it's just a prototype, I can have it posted on halfbakery.com."

"You were frozen in 1969 dad, you don't know how to use a computer."

"True Scott, but Frau trained Mr. Bigglesworth to do it for me under a fictitious name."

PS: Later...

"Hey dad, is that new door supposed to be your evil knocking door?"

"Yes Scott, I've miniaturized the workings so it all fits inside. Now I'm beta testing the device."

"Oh, well like I opened and closed it like ten times, and waited two hours, and nothing's happened. It must have broken."

"Have faith Scott. The weighted flyweels are an inefficient way to wind the spring. it should take several hundred swings of the door before the mechanism kicks in. MUAHAHA!"

"Uhh, right, well I'm gonna go to my room and watch some skinimax."

—ye_river_xiv, Jul 13 2006

Dinging dong device Dinging_20dong_20device
Just for phlish. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 13 2006, last modified Jul 14 2006]

Evil Door II Evil_20Door_20(2)
Be sure to add the Evil Door II components for an even more vile and wicked door tormenting experience. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 14 2006]

Phantom knock-and-runner Phantom_20Knock-and-Runner
Inspirational, but easier to figure out. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 14 2006]

The on-purpose version Knock_20Knocker
[phundug, Jul 30 2006]

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       Hmm. It appears you've said it all...
—MoreCowbell, Jul 13 2006
   

       i'm torn. do i really want to vote on this?
—tcarson, Jul 13 2006
   

       Yup. [+]
—m_Al_com, Jul 13 2006
   

       ...and it's purpose is...?   

       You don't think that after 2 times, the door owner will figure it out? Sorry, it's a cute invention, but I see no use for it. (maybe for hotels or conference rooms or haunted houses)
—xandram, Jul 13 2006
   

       xandram: in practice, "evil" devices like this work very well, provided they don't activate too often.
—DrCurry, Jul 13 2006
   

       Thanks for the info [DrC] but when I read this it appears that it would go off 2 hours after every time someone opened the door, but I could be wrong. I am not evil~~muhahaha.
—xandram, Jul 13 2006
   

       Dr. Curry's right. several door movements would be needed (see PS) I've also developed the doorbell device for philsh.
—ye_river_xiv, Jul 13 2006
   

       My neighbour has an Evil Car Alarm a little like this. This is better in so many ways - I may install one on his door.
—wagster, Jul 13 2006
   

       I'll be honest - for a minute, I seriously considered trying to make one of these. I love it.
—david_scothern, Jul 14 2006
   

       So flattering [david] I feel like I have a fan club. Remember, you must only use your evil knocking door for good... such as on the homes of jerks with evil car alarms.
—ye_river_xiv, Jul 14 2006
   

       How about a trained woodpecker?
—MoreCowbell, Jul 14 2006
   

       Interesting Idea [Morecobwell] but I don't think the woodpeckers will survive long stuck inside the door, leading to a much less humorous, and far more odious type of prank.   

       Since the doorbell version was so popular though, I will halfbake your woodpecker idea under the title "Smell of death door." Check it quick though, it's already been marked...
—ye_river_xiv, Jul 15 2006
   

       This was better. Ideas involving dead animals tend to fare badly here, although the Small of Death wasn't too well explained so it may not have done. My votes speak: Knocking+ Smell-
—wagster, Jul 29 2006
   

       No no no. Not mechanical. Instead create a haunting by building an electronic version into the walls. Give it a wireless connection and its own website.
—wbeaty, Jul 29 2006
   

       You are a dangerous man [wbeaty] I prefer to stick with analog devices myself though. I get too many complaints when I start using advanced magic technology like RFID. You can halfbake the haunted knocking (and possibly scratching, creaking, etc.ing) house though... might be a good idea.
—ye_river_xiv, Aug 15 2006
   


 

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